Jersey Shore Shark Attack [Blu-ray]

Several times during Jersey Shore Shark Attack, I had to keep swatting at the back of my head to reassure myself that no one was pressing a gun against my skull, forcing me to watch. Such is the case when I volunteer for a film so recognizably non-essential for Cinema Blend. Since I?d reviewed seasons one and three of Jersey Shore proper for this site, I seemed to be advantageous where enjoying this semi-spoof was concerned. And guess what? I lucked out. This is grade-B hilarity trapped inside of an abysmal F-bomb. I?m certain the writers were breathing at least 75% pure oxygen when they thought ?Gym, tan, harpooning? was the perfect send-up line.

The Movie:

I stand before you (sitting at a computer) wholeheartedly blaspheming against everything that is cosmic about film by admitting I?ve allowed the douche-friendly cast and crew of JSSA to land largely on my good side. I previously had no idea it was a straight parody, in the loosest sense of the words. It made fun of the Jersey Shore cast while simultaneously existing as a really shitty shark attack movie, in the usual Syfy style. I can only hope the Real Housewives will be battling piranhas at some point in the future.

If there is any single person still left reading this, I commend you. Hey, I didn?t want to believe that the laughter escaping my face was genuine either. This is a movie where a guy gets attacked by a shark, and his cap washes up on shore, bitten in three different places. Three places! As if a shark?s bite, or appetite, was small enough for a hat to enter into it. Maybe it?s because the sharks were all rendered in some of the shittiest CGI this side of the Jaws cut scenes from the original Nintendo system. Maybe CGI sharks have a smaller bite range. Then how are they leaping out of water and biting entire people in half? For that matter, how are they leaping out of water? And is that seriously Paul Sorvino? Yes.

Sorvino?who is onscreen long enough for you to get three good sneezes in--plays a mayor/shareholder for a company who wants to keep deep sea drilling (CGI drilling, no less) in a spot that is populated by vibration-sensitive sharks with a thirst for human blood. That?s a ?situation? that calls for a hero to step in. Six heroes actually. (Make hero-zero joke here.)

Enter ?the complication? (Jeremy Luke), also called T.C. by everyone in voices that sound amazingly like Top Cat?s feline brethren. (If you can go the whole movie without calling Luke a ?Guido Jimmy McNulty,? you are the better person here.) There?s the beef-brained Donnie (Joey Russo) and Paulie Balzac (Daniel Booko). Booko probably comes the closest to his TV influence, though mostly because of the immaculate head of hair. On the female side, we have the completely interchangeable trio of Nooki (Melissa Molinaro), J-Moni (Alex Mauriello) and BJ (Audi Resendez). (I don?t even understand how ?BJ? is a character pun.) In case you were like me and thought this was a slasher film where one of these characters would get shark-chomped every few minutes, it isn?t. This gang of meatballs and cleavage is the film?s source of heroism. The bad guys are rich pricks, albino sharks, and drilling-friendly businessman William Atherton. But only Atherton has a swanky purple tie.

The basic story is that sharks attack the shore and eventually these goombahs and goombettes inexplicably bring out a bunch of guns and blast sharks in the fins until they die. Everything else is souped-up lingo liberally sprinkled through scenes that would have gained quality had nudity and cursing been allowed. That this material is largely PG-13 (although it is rated R), and isn?t drowning in alcohol and pheromones, does more to separate it from its MTV counterpart than the actual sharks involved, even with the occasional ejaculation joke. Examples of the mostly Italian lingo: gnocchi, preppy strunes, spuntini, pazzo, cugini, fazools. No Mario Bros. references, though there are unseen characters named Vinny No Neck and Vinny Bumbaza.

The sheer cult potential of a movie that includes the line, ?The shark that killed Joey Fatone has been shot,? so soon after referring to Fatone as ?a legend,? should intuitively be countered by Fatone?s actual presence within the movie. However, it?s a fun, self-deprecating cameo that ends in a fairly awesome death. Less fun is Vinny Guadagnino?s turn as a News Jersey reporter, which looks as if it was filmed after one of the filmmakers happened to catch Vinny out to dinner.

Since this movie is extremely useless without having watched even a single episode of Jersey Shore, I am almost impressed by Syfy?s willingness to exclude the viewers that would have avoided the movie based on its shark elements alone. There is nothing here for Shore-loathers or anyone else who doesn?t appreciate intentionally bad quality, as any plot-heavy scenes without the crew aren?t worth the trouble. But if you?ve got some friends over and a bong or a bottle of booze to share, then consider this a recommendation. No ugatz! I have no idea if I used that correctly.

The Disc:

Is it worth stating how useless Blu-ray technology is on a movie like this? Watching it on Syfy on a television from the 1970s is the way to go here. For features we get a commentary that tries to glorify everything seen on screen, and has volume problems where film dialogue is way too loud. It is occasionally interesting,to say the most. In the five-minute ?On Set? feature, the cast talks about how hilarious the movie is. It also shows characters too boring to bother mentioning earlier. If you aren?t saying ?Pound it. Explode it. Rain it down!? in fist bumping succession, then I cannot judge you negatively. That?s the B-side of my earlier recommendation.

Jersey Shore Shark Attack [Blu-ray] DetailsDistributor: Anchor Bay EntertainmentStarring: Jeremy Luke, Joey Russo, Melissa Molinaro, William AthertonProduced by: G.E. Furst, Fred Olen Ray, Kimberly A. Ray, Peter SullivanWritten by: Michael Ciminera, Richard Gnolfo

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Dredd

Setting an action film within a contained space is an excellent way to keep it tight and thrilling, but it's also a risk, since the formula has been done well so many times-- Die Hard set the standard, and films as recent as this year's The Raid have improved upon it. And it's doubly risky in a film like Dredd, which establishes the parameters of a harsh dystopian future in quick voiceover, but then limits the film almost entirely within an apartment mega-plex, which aside from a few technological innovations could pretty much exist today. You're swept into a fascinating future, only to be trapped in a tiny corner of it for an entire film; how is that going to be worth it?

Dredd, an adaptation of the comic books that's miles away from the 1995 Sylvester Stallone attempt, sets itself apart by knowing its strengths and playing to them, over and over again. Screenwriter Alex Garland (of Danny Boyle dystopias 28 Days Later and Sunshine), crafts a dead simple narrative about Judge Dredd (Karl Urban) and his psychic sidekick Anderson (Olivia Thirlby) needing to get to the top floor of a 200-story apartment complex to take out the vicious prostitute-turned-drug-kinpin Mama (Lena Headey). From there director Pete Travis follows our heroes through hails of gunfire with a clear eye for the geography of the building, while also adding in the film's great stylistic flourish-- Mama handles a drug called "slo-mo," which slows down perception to 1% of normal speed, and you'd better believe we see a lot of "slo-mo" vision. At times it makes Dredd look like a Zack Snyder knock-off, but it's also a gaudy and enjoyable break from this grim future-- especially when it highlights the film's favorite method of death, people falling from great heights to a splattery, gory death.

The movie goes very, very hard on the blood and guts, and there's plenty to find in a story where the Judges have guns that don't just shoot bullets, but grenades and fireballs and all kinds of goodies. Dredd can feel unrelenting at times, especially when a gory scene leads straight into a psychologically intense one, like when Anderson infiltrates the mind of a perp (The Wire's Wood Harris) only to find a lot of disturbing sexual depravity. And when your hero is equipped with a gun and rarely fights hand-to-hand, the action can feel a little redundant-- Travis doesn't really take advantage of all the potential of a chase in this kind of confined space, and when Dredd runs out of bullets, you feel less tension than a sense that maybe he wasn't all that great of a hero to begin with.

To Dredd's credit, though, he's played through a somewhat miraculous feat of acting by Urban, whose eyes are masked beneath a helmet the entire film and who speaks in a gruff monotone, but who conveys a world of emotion all the same. Dredd really shouldn't be an engaging character, but his commitment to justice and his growing affection for protege Anderson make him remarkably likable. Olivia Thirlby almost has the harder job, acting like an all-knowing psychic, and with her face fully exposed to show emotions enough for two people. The sassy friend from Juno translates remarkably well into a pint-sized badass, and with a promising dystopia lurking outside the walls of this movie, it's easy to imagine following both of them into further adventures. And though Headey has established herself as one memorable sociopath, Cersei Lannister on Game of Thrones, she takes it 10 steps further as Mama, a scarred and endlessly manipulative woman pulling all the strings from the top of her grimy tower.

With style and dour charisma to spare, Dredd proves that the smartest way to handle an action plot is often the simplest, while also tossing in enough flash to set itself apart. It didn't have quite enough fun with its ideas and location as I'd hoped for, but it's got plenty of strong raw material to get it to the finish line-- if this is the next evolution of the Die Hard formula, John McClane would probably feel exhausted by the darkness but also a little proud.

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Hocus Pocus [Blu-ray]

Like one of those horrifying potions the Sanderson Sisters brew to suck the life out of children, Hocus Pocus is filled with a lot of rank and sketchy ingredients. It features arguably the most pitiful, unlikeable protagonist in the eighty-plus year history of Walt Disney Pictures. It dispenses groan-worthy jokes like fun-sized candy bars, and its characters behave without reason or logic whenever the plot, which is ludicrous in its own right, needs them to do so. It?s consistently cheesy, occasionally stupid and yet, arguably, the most likeable family Halloween movie of all-time.

The Movie:

Some of this, of course, is due to a serious lack of competition. There aren?t a ton of great films for the second grade crowd that involve reincarnated witches, but even if there were, this one would stand near the top of the pack thanks to a lot of intelligent and shrewd formatting decisions made by director Kenny Ortega. Best known for choreographing Dirty Dancing and helming the High School Musical movies, Ortega keeps the action in Hocus Pocus brisk, the tone pretty zany and the focus, as it should be, on the Sanderson Sisters.

Winifred (Bette Midler), Mary (Kathy Najimy) and Sarah (Sarah Jessica Parker) might not be the main characters of the film, but they most assuredly are its biggest strengths. When we first meet them, they?re coaxing a beautiful little girl to her death. Three hundred years after they?re hung for sucking the victim?s life force to make themselves younger, a virgin (Omri Katz) mistakenly reincarnates them by lighting an enchanted candle. This fish out of water premise coupled with the ladies? basic quest (murdering more children) makes for a wonderful combination of humor and creepiness.

Ordinarily, a character can only offer one or the other, but because we?ve seen Winifred turn people into cats and shoot lightning bolts out of her fingers, we know she?s not to be trifled with. Yet, because we?ve also seen her mistake firemen for witch hunters and roads for black rivers, she and her sisters are wonderful fodder for comedy. The two-pronged offering makes the women constantly watchable, and helps keep the momentum up, which is probably the main reason why the film is still routinely watched nineteen years after it was released.

Hocus Pocus is snappy. It?s ninety-seven minutes on the go. Following the intriguing, well put together first scene set in the 1690s, almost all of the action takes place over the course of one evening. It never lingers for too long in one place and introduces plenty of hilarious side characters, including a fake cop and Garry and Penny Marshall playing an older couple mistaken for Satan and Medusa. When the energy begins to sour, there?s always a choreographed song and dance number or a run-in with a bully or something else to inject life, even into the few characters who lack spirit.

The most wooden of the offerings is Max Dennison, the aforementioned virgin who lights the Black Flame Candle. He?s not sympathetic or likeable. He acts like a d-bag and gives the hottest girl (Vinessa Shaw) in school his number in the middle of class; yet, he lets two idiotic bullies named Jay and Ice take his shoes without throwing a punch. He?s not particularly nice to his awesome sister Dani (Thora Birch), and he?s not confident in his own abilities. He?s pretty much a complete throwaway alongside his parents (Charles Rocket, Stephanie Faracy), but since he?s usually in the middle of doing something exciting or interacting with other characters who are far more interesting, his presence isn?t a huge dealbreaker. It?s just one of the few annoyances, alongside an occasional lack of plot explanation and bad jokes, that make Hocus Pocus more enjoyable and watchable than honest and great.

In some ways, that?s a critique. Hocus Pocus isn?t great. There are dozens of moments a viewer could point to and question. There are gaps in logic and there is an abounding shallowness, but in other ways, it's light-hearted tone and willingness to have fun at the expense of all else is why it regularly airs on television almost two decades later. It?s a trade-off, but all things considered, it?s probably a good one.

The Disc:

The back of the Hocus Pocus Blu-ray + DVD combo pack touts ?Disney Enhanced High Definition Picture And Sound? under its special features. For a film originally released in 1993 that was never meant to look overly pretty, it does look and sound a little better than you would expect. So, this set has that going for it. Unfortunately, it makes no attempt at offering anything else, unless you?re feeling generous and counting subtitles.

Distributor: Walt Disney PicturesStarring: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy, Omri Katz, Thora Birch Produced by: Steven Haft, David KirschnerWritten by: Mick Garris, David M Evans, Neil Cuthbert

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End Of Watch

Even if End of Watch had turned out to be a bad film, I still would have respected it. In both his script and his directing style David Ayer gambles constantly, be it in the way he decides to shoot a particular scene or help the audience get a better understanding of the central characters, and it's impressive how many of those gambles pay off. It?s those chances that Ayer takes that separate his movie from the standard cop drama, elevating it to be a great one.

These risks start at the most basic story levels, as End of Watch isn?t a movie about two cops fighting evil in South Central Los Angeles, but instead about two men, Officer Taylor (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Officer Zavala (Michael Pena), who have a pure bond of friendship and loyalty as officers in the L.A.P.D. Rather than having every scene feature Taylor and Zavala breaking down doors, firing off guns and talking about their mission to stop the big bad gang leader, Ayer instead slows everything down and gives the audience a chance to look into the characters? lives as more than just officers, but also people, attending weddings and quinceaneras. The timeline stretches over a number of months so we watch the relationship between Taylor and his girlfriend (Anna Kendrick), while also seeing Zavala?s wife (Natalie Martinez) give birth to their first son. A through line has the policemen on the heels of some serious evil developing in the city, but Ayer lets it unfold slowly, bouncing back and forth between the different universes of the characters? lives and placing more importance on the audience understanding who these men are than anything else.

End of Watch is a story about two partners, and Ayer couldn?t have done better casting them than Gyllenhaal and Pena. When Taylor and Zavala are riding around on patrol it feels as though Ayer sent the two actors out for a drive with a camera and told them to just speak naturally in character. Their banter is quick-witted but real, the characters discussing the cons of dating a Latin woman (due mostly to the ridiculous number of quinceaneras that you?ll have to attend), white people and coffee, and dealing with their respective significant others. The officers are as tight as brothers and there isn?t a single moment in the movie where you question it. Both Gyllenhaal and Pena put on brilliant performances, but it?s their chemistry that makes the movie work as well as it does.

End of Watch?s cinematography purports that it?s a found footage movie, but it's decidedly not one. At the start it?s explained that Taylor is taking a film class and making a project about his life as a police officer, which gives Ayer the ability to do a lot of handheld shots and first person perspective. While many directors would say, ?Okay, this is the aesthetic of our movie,? Ayer says, ?Screw that,? and peppers scenes with establishing shots and third person perspective ? again, he takes a lot of chances. By breaking convention and ignoring limitation he ends up delivering the audience a hard look at the unique, rough streets of South Central while also capitalizing on the grittiness, realism and intensity that comes with found footage. They work in harmony and the effect is dazzling.

After my screening of End of Watch I almost felt compelled to speed just so that I would get pulled over and I would have an opportunity to say, ?Thank you.? Ayer has spent just about his entire career chronicling tales of the L.A.P.D., with movies like Training Day, The Fast and the Furious, Dark Blue and Harsh Times, but this movie is something more-- intense, gripping, funny, and absolutely fantastic.

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Battleship [Blu-ray]

A film based on a board game is inherently a stupid idea and so is this film. Noisy as your grandmother's vacuum cleaner and filled with images hurled at you at breakneck speeds, the film initially looks like sub Michael Bay garbage. For the first half hour I was convinced that this had the potential to be a worse film than any made by Bay. What I failed to realize is that director Peter Berg is no Michael Bay, and by that I mean Berg still has some respect for the storytelling side of the filmmaking craft. Slowly, I found myself getting immersed in this world and when the battleships took precedence it finally dawned on me that Peter Berg may have made the best boardgame to film adaptation ever, not counting Clue. .

The Movie:

In Battleship, the focus remains on the stars of the game, the battleships themselves, as well as the ships? beauty in movement and the excitement of action on the high seas. Logic goes out the window, aliens are thrown into the story as the enemy (because why not?), Japanese and American (and Barbadian if you count Rihanna) soldiers work together, some kind of romance subplot is carried out half-heartedly, Liam Neeson stops by for a free lunch and what amounts to a cameo, and the screen explodes in wartime fireworks. It's completely stupid and, at the same time, stupidly fun.

The plot revolves around the Hopper brothers, Alex (Taylor Kitsch) and Stone (Alexander Skarsg?rd). Alex is the wild and crazy one, while Stone is the responsible rock steady one who is always trying to get his brother to do something with his life (like join the Navy or something and fight aliens with awesome battleships). But, as a Naval officer Alex is pretty much the same guy. He is bad at following orders and of course has to fall in love with the daughter (Brooklyn Decker) of his Admiral (Liam Neeson). Things come to a head on the day of a training mission in Hawaii, where apersonal problem--asking dad for permission to get married--has to be put on hold because alien spacecraft have shown up (clearly not just to make contact). What we have here is not a failure to communicate but rather the second sneak attack in Peal Harbor history.

Certainly, massively low expectations have something to do with how I reacted to the film. However, it exudes a real enthusiasm that is hard to find in these lumbering spectacles. Battleship just wants to be mindless fun. The acting is surprisingly competent, with star Taylor Kitsch quite confident in the lead and, even more surprisingly, there is really little in the way of groaningly bad dialogue. Believe it or not, no one ever says the game's signature line. So, lets say it here, all together and with enthusiasm, ?You sunk my Battleship!"

The Disc:

This movie may not end up on anyone's "ten best" list, but it will probably be played on a loop at HDTV showrooms around the world since its image and sound are stunning. The film is presented in its original aspect ratio of 2.40:1 and there are scenes in this film, full of sea and sun, that guide your eyes way into the deep backgrounds where everything is sharp and clear and clean.

Universal really gave this film the full treatment with a huge inventory of extra features on the Blu-ray disc. These include an "Alternate Ending Pre-Visualization," which will do little more than convince viewers the ending chosen was correct.

"The Visual Effects of Battleship" show how far effects artists have come in creating water digitally. The scenes at sea in the film are completely convincing on a photo-realistic level. What I can never understand is, after all of the work is put into creating the reality, why the effects artists cannot resist creating impossible camera movements. These fly in and out of areas that no camera operator or even camera could enter and shatter that reality in seconds.

"USS Missouri VIP Tour" is exactly what it sounds like--an informative look at "Mighty Mo" from bow to stern. Next, "Preparing for Battle" covers the pre-production stage, focusing on the challenges of adapting the game into a movie. "All Hands On Deck: The Cast" is more of your standard behind-the-scenes piece that is full of the cast saying how fun it was to work together.

"Engage in Battle" is split into two smaller pieces, "Shooting at Sea" which shows how cautious Peter Berg was of shooting much of the film on actual water. Obviously, he heard the horror stories about Spielberg an Jaws as well as Kevin Costner and Waterworld. "All Aboard the Fleet" gives us a glimpse of shooting on a floating production barge.

"Commander Pete" is, of course, a segment where people say funny or nice things about Peter Berg. This makes me wonder about that story of him slapping Jennifer Garner during the making of The Kingdom. Hearsay says this almost led to a director to director throwdown when Garner's husband, Ben Affleck, showed up on set to confront Berg.

It's no surprise "All Access with Peter Berg" doesn't go into that incident at all. Instead, this feature is the newfangled way of featuring the director's commentary on selected scenes throughout the disc. Scenes are suddenly interrupted by Berg, who is in some kind of Minority Report world in the bonus features, making graphics and images appear in front of him with his hands and tossing them away, etc.

All in all, Battleship is a pretty impressive Blu-ray release, which also comes with a standard DVD and a downloadable digital copy, as well as Ultraviolet access. You can watch the film anywhere, even at sea.

Distributor: Universal Studios Home EntertainmentStarring: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsg?rd, Brooklyn Decker, Rihanna, Hamish Linklater, Jesse Plemons, Tadanobu Asano, Liam NeesonProduced by: Peter Berg, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber Written by: Erich and Jon Hoeber

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Lawless

Though it's based only loosely on the real-life exploits of the Bondurant brothers, Lawless has the meandering pace of a real-life story, in which not every plot thread wraps up in an important theme, and not every character's fate feels perfectly aligned with the narrative. That can be frustrating in self-important biopics or sagas about Great Important Historical Events, but it's terrific for spending more time with the loud, wily and coarsely endearing Bondurants, who turned to bootlegging during Prohibition and turned it into a family business.

Directed by John Hillcoat, who brought gothic undertones to the Australian Western The Proposition and the bleak apocalypse drama The Road, Lawless is aware of the serious consequences of all this freewheeling bootlegging-- blood flows freely and frequently, and often from our heroes-- but he loves this world of Franklin County, Virginia as much as the Bondurants do. The film is narrated in sporadic voiceover by Jack (Shia LaBeouf), the youngest Bondurant, who explains that his older brothers Forrest (Tom Hardy) and Howard (Jason Clarke) have set up a bootlegging operation so efficient that even local law enforcement partakes in their moonshine offerings. There's a little too much telling and not showing in LaBeouf's voiceover, but the camera soon obliges, showing Forrest dispatching a would-be robber with a pair of brass knuckles, just before the title card hits the screen.

The Bondurants are intimidating but use violence sparingly, at least until the arrival of Rakes (Guy Pearce), a Chicago-based federal enforcer with crisp suits, city dialect, and a haircut so severe even Hitler probably would think it's a bit much. Rakes is determined to stamp out Franklin County's bootlegging operations, with the grudging support of the local sheriff, and the Bondurants are just as determined to evade him, setting up their stills in the woods, making direct contact with a powerful Chicago gangster (Gary Oldman, in a too-brief appearance), and turning to violence when the moment calls for it.

As the war escalates, life goes on in various ways, with Jack courting the local preacher's daughter (Mia Wasikowska) and adopting some pretensions of big-city lifestyle, Forrest kicking up a tentative romance with mysterious newcomer Maggie (Jessica Chastain), and Jack's schemes with buddy Cricket (Dane DeHaan, equally impressive here as in this spring's Chronicle) benefiting the family as often as they fail. It's all going to come to a head in a major way, of course, but the bumps along the road can be surprising, not to mention shockingly violent, and all the characters are make the meandering worthwhile. The performances are stellar down the line-- yes, even LaBeouf nicely captures Jack's boyish arrogance-- but more than that, the warm but dark family dynamic of the Bondurants is consistently engaging. They've carved out a wild world for themselves-- and one that will feel oddly quaint when Prohibition is repealed a few years later-- but man, did they make the most of it while it lasted.

Musician Nick Cave (who also co-wrote the script) provides the grim but rousing score, and Benoit Delhomme's stunning cinematography focuses on the harsh beauty of Appalachia, with some expertly assembled shots of trees somehow standing in for the entire region's menacing appeal. There are parts of Lawless that feel choppy, like Oldman's role feeling shrunk in the editing room, or the seemingly supernatural strength that Forrest possesses for no reason, other than that he's played by the same guy who was Bane. But shot through with good humor that balances out the blackness, and performances that liven up even rote plots of revenge, Lawless earns its detours and minor missteps, a late-summer surprise with unpredictable power.

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LOTR: The Return Of The King Extended Edition 5 Disc Set [Blu-ray]

As the third movie in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Return of the King had a lot going for it. It was the film where the Academy finally caught on to the breadth of the project, giving everyone involved with the production the notice that comes with eleven Oscars. I think for many people?including director Peter Jackson himself?The Return of the King is the favorite film in the trilogy. I?m not quite on the same page. While I appreciate The Return of the King for its magnificent vision and scope, I kind of wish Jackson had found a way to cut down on the time a little bit.

The Movie:

The Return of the King is extremely long. Not quite Lawrence of Arabia or Gone with the Wind long in its theatrical form, but the extended edition is a different story. The theatrical film clocks in at right around 200 minutes and the extended version is even longer, taking up four hours and 24 minutes of the audience?s day. It?s arduous, and just when you think you?ve gotten through the whole movie, there are multiple scenes that all feel like the end of the film, but are just lead-ins to the actual end.

Complaints aside, The Return of the King was achieved through a lot of hard work and determination. Elements from The Two Towers story and even from filming the second movie were intermixed into the third story beautifully, and with plenty of care. It?s not just the weight of the story that impresses, but the CGI and picture look fantastic, as well, supplemented in this set by the transfer to Blu-ray. On the big screen, when Legolas (Orlando Bloom) took down a furious killer elephant all by his lonesome, the moment was grandiose, and with the Blu-ray picture, the clarity of the scene still makes it seem epic on a much smaller screen.

The Return of the King is the end of the journey for Frodo (Elijah Wood) and company, and in many ways it?s a bittersweet end. Many a journey has been had in film, and when that journey is accomplished, it leaves our heroes with very little to do. Despite having too many endings (in my opinion), The Return of the King never leaves our heroes hanging, and in doing so, it never leaves its audience wanting more. It?s nearly impossible to take a book series as intricate as Tolkien?s and bring a film to fruition, but Jackson does the best he can with The Lord of the Rings series, and the trilogy stands on its own, while nodding constantly to the great literary work that preceded it.

Are you looking for Cinema Blend?s reviews of the Extended Edition 5-Disc singles sets for The Fellowship of the Ring or The Two Towers? We?ve got them!

The Disc:

The picture in the Return of the King has always looked pretty good, but if you haven?t had a chance to watch the extended edition of the film or catch it on Blu-ray, you should probably do so, now. If you?ve already shelled out for the extended edition in the past, however, it may not be worth it to throw out so much money to simply trade up. The menu page is streamlined, and the remastered audio, in particular, sounds far better than I remember. There?s even a BD Live connection, but there aren?t a ton of brand new extras to justify purchasing the set all over again?unless you are a freak for picture or sound.

The extras on the disc, like the movie itself, are just a bit more extensive than the other Blu-ray Extended Edition 5-Disc singles in the trilogy. When compared to The Two Towers Blu-ray, the commentaries seem a little more detailed, there are a few extra documentaries, there are over 500 extra gallery images, and there are more extra-long looks at the premieres and filming.

Disc 3 features a bunch of segments exploring the making of the film. A ?From Book To Script? section has two segments, ?Forging the Final Chapter? and an abandoned concept. The segment about creating the script actually talks about how it was easy to transfer some of the lengthy and epic material from The Two Towers and put it into the Return of the King, while still maintaining the integrity of the Middle-earth timeline as a whole.

Next on the disc, ?Home of the Horse Lords? discusses the numerous horses onscreen and how the horse work was achieved. While it?s cool the prestigious horses worked via voice commands, this segment is one of the less exciting in the set. Rounding out the disc is an interactive atlas with multiple paths (fun to trace, but kind of finicky) and spotlights on the areas where different scenes were filmed in New Zealand to produce the look of Middle-earth.

Disc 4 is the big one in the Return of the King set. It features seven documentaries, and each is more emotional than the last. This is the big farewell to The Lord of the Rings series. On the other Extended Edition film bonus features, everyone involved in the film is still looking forward to the upcoming work that must be done. This time around, the commentaries are more relaxed and the documentaries are retrospective, and occasionally a little emotional. On Disc 4, a lot of the segments have names like ?The Passing of an Age,? or ?Post Production: Journey?s End.? They probably won?t make you tear up, but 9 years after the final film hit theaters, they will probably still make you feel as if you are at the end of an era.

Disc 4 features some of the best moments from the post-production of the last film, including Jackson cornering New Line Cinema to force them to do the world premiere of the film in Wellington, New Zealand. Fun facts from some of these segments include there were almost 2 million feet of film shot for this movie and Jackson never saw the final cut of The Return of the King before the world premiere. To make things even more surreal, awards season came right after the premieres, and fantasy got a unique nod for the first time.

If fans felt like The Lord of the Rings was an epic journey, those involved with the production were invested even more deeply. Countless relationships were jeopardized, people were tired, and work was never-ending, but everyone on set became very close and it is clear filming the trilogy was the experience of a lifetime. If you have the time to get through the set, even if you are a casual fan, it?s well worth it. I?ve never felt so close to a film, or so invested in its production prior to this set, and I doubt I will again?at least until The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey gets a Blu-ray release.

LOTR: The Return Of The King Extended Edition 5 Disc Set [Blu-ray] DetailsStarring: Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen, Andy Serkis, Ian McKellanProduced by: Peter Jackson, Barrie M. Osborne, Fran WalshWritten by: Fran Walsh, Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens

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Resident Evil: Retribution

Paul W.S. Anderson?s Resident Evil: Retribution may be one of the most incoherent, stupid movies that I have ever seen. While I admittedly walked into the film as a neophyte, having never seen any of the other titles in the franchise or played any of the video games, the whole thing is so cacophonous, poorly structured, and badly put together that it?s hard to see how even die-hard fans would be able to make any sense of it.

And it?s not like the movie is made confusing by an intricate plot, because it's a head-scratcher from the very first scene. The story begins with the protagonist, Alice (Milla Jovovich) imprisoned and tortured in an underwater facility owned by the villainous Umbrella Corporation. She is then finds herself inexplicably freed by a woman named Ada Wong (Bingbing Li) and Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts) ? the latter of who we were told in the opening narration was the man in charge of the Umbrella Corporation and who Alice apparently killed in a previous movie (and she doesn?t seem to be all too surprised to see him alive). Wong and Wesker inform Alice that there is a group of resistance fighters coming to meet them ? none of whom are given a proper introduction ? and that she has to escape the facility. And that?s the entire plot. There are no side stories, there are no bigger character motivations, and the larger mission ? dismantling Umbrella ? is barely broached.

What we get instead of plot is action sequences. And by that I mean about 50 of them. The whole thing plays like Anderson is completely terrified of his core audience?s low attention span, so he makes the movie operate in a way that the characters can?t move more than 20 feet at a time without having to kill some kind of biohazard in an over-stylized, bullet-and-blood ridden confrontation, featuring enough slow-motion and speed ramping to give Zack Snyder just cause for a lawsuit. This may sound great on paper, but the scenes rarely last more than two minutes, and because the script doesn?t bother with any kind of character development you really don?t care if any of the characters survive or die. Anderson actually tries to remedy this by giving Alice a fake deaf daughter who was created in a virus outbreak simulation ? have I mentioned how inscrutable this movie is? ? but rather than feeling like Ripley and Newt?s relationship from Aliens it just feels ham-fisted and stupid. Naturally the action sequences don?t take long to get tedious, and because there?s no story the movie ends up having nothing to hold the viewer?s attention. Needless to say, I was regularly checking my watch and waiting for the whole thing to wrap up.

Beyond the gaudy action, Retribution is just a poorly directed movie. Despite the fact that Anderson has digital maps and displays flashing at the audience constantly and 90% of the movie is set in one location, it?s impossible to get any sense of the size or shape of the world and the characters? location within it. Alice and the resistance fighters are apart for most of the movie, and given the amount of time it takes them to meet up you get the sense that the facility is absolutely massive, but once they actually find each other the whole place shrinks exponentially and they find their way to the exit elevator in mere moments ? though not without a monster/Umbrella attack to greet them, of course.

Look, I get it: by the time you reach the fifth movie in a franchise you?re mainly appealing to the core fan base, but that?s no excuse for wholly disregarding every other audience member on the planet. And even if it is a movie just for the fans, you're only punishing them with sloppy, awful, plot hole-filled storytelling. If you?re looking to get into the Resident Evil franchise I would most definitely not recommend this as a starting point, but based on the quality of this sequel I highly doubt it would be worth it at all.

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October Baby [Blu-ray]

October Baby is like three movies shoved into one. It?s a romance, a spring break movie, and the story of a young woman who finds out she was adopted after an attempted abortion. More of a focus is on the latter, but the film may have been a whole lot better with a little more of either of the former.

The Movie:

There are a lot of themes in the film that are about growing up as well as the choices people make that define who they become. In particular, scenes between newcomer actress Rachel Hendrix, who plays Hannah, and John Schneider, who plays her adoptive father, really resonate. There?s a lot of pain in many of their scenes, but an underlying tenderness and deep care for one another as the two are forced to forge new bonds after Hannah learns about her past.

There are a lot of broken moments and relationships that need a little fixing in October Baby, and, in many instances, this slows down the plot. Hannah?s in love with her best friend Jason (Jason Burkey), but despite his girlfriend being a total headcase, he just keeps dating her. Since Hannah isn?t aware at first of her unusual birth story, there are several random family and doctor scenes thrown in to address the ?facts?. Finally, once Hannah finds the emotional fortitude to search for her mother, there are a lot of filler scenes leading up to the climactic moment.

To attempt to lighten the mood, Andrew and John Erwin throw in some comedic relief featuring American Idol?s Chris Sligh as an over-the-top automobile owner without a filter and James Austin Johnson as his hapless sidekick. He and the rest of a spring break crew are heading toward the town where Hannah?s birth mom supposedly lives and thus, extend a spot for her in their journey. Lively conversations from topics as diverse as tofu and the ramifications of drinking fill up the time Hannah spends with the goofball vacationers. I would have been content to watch these characters for a couple of hours.

Instead, the movie shoehorns away from its initial direction in order to spend more time with Hannah as she constantly verbalizes her mental issues. Yeah, Hendrix is good at playing Hannah, but watching a teen in crisis mope for most of an hour and a half can be a little much. If October Baby had cut down on the melodrama, not only from Hannah, but from some of the other characters, too, the film may have come across as a way more careful endeavor.

Because October Baby relishes in some of its most melodramatic moments, it?s harder to let some of the smaller issues slide. October Baby has some trouble figuring out the script?s direction and features some scenes where the background music overwhelms whatever is going on visually onscreen. These things might normally be forgotten in a more investing film, but they just keep on nagging in this one.

October Baby works best when Hannah is simply hanging out with people and learning to be a regular teenager. In the spring break moments and the time she spends with Jason, she is a more compelling college student working her way through some unusual hardships. In those moments, it?s easy to forget all of the political and emotional messages the story is trying to send out to its viewers and to just relish in a teen making her way in the universe the best she can. October Baby needed the whole ?survivor of an abortion? idea to gain as much traction as it did, but it could have been better if it gave us a reason to really invest in the story and not simply sympathize with its heroine.

The Disc:

Usually the bonus features don?t lead off with the bloopers, but October Baby was smart enough to let it happen. ?October Bloopers? are way better than the average bloopers on a disc. Actually, I?ll go so far as to say these are the best bloopers I?ve ever seen. These guys generally seem like they were up for anything and really had fun shooting on the set. Next, there are some deleted scenes, which mostly help to clarify stuff and add details to the plot, however, cutting most of these scenes seems to have somewhat streamlined the movie and cut out some of the unnecessary side plots.

The next segments, ?Finding Hannah? and ?Shari?s Story,? focus on some of the casting decisions and the way the actors who played Hannah and her birth mother were able to come to life onscreen. These, as well as the story behind the script, ?Gianna Jessen: The Inspiration,? help viewers to understand the intent and direction of the film.

?Singing the Praises of October Baby? follows a slew of musicians, producers, and even Fireproof director Alex Kendrick as they show up to talk about what they loved about the film. A few people talk about how nice the film was and how it took a totally unique plot and turned it into a great film. It?s a little indulgent, but if you liked the movie a lot, you?ll probably find a viewpoint or two to agree with, which is what October Baby is shooting for, anyway.

The last few segments aren?t throwaways, but they are less exciting than the other bonus features on the disc. A Q&A, a short artsy segment and the ?Life is Beautiful? music video by The Afters (a band I am guessing has scuttled from bad name to bad name during the tenure of its existence) round out the special features. There are way more extras on this disc than your average low budget film and most of them are enjoyable. It isn?t perfect, but I was suitably impressed with the quality.

October Baby [Blu-ray] DetailsStarring: Rachel Hendrix, John Schneider, Jason BurkeyDirected by: Jon, Erwin, Andrew ErwinProduced by: Dan Atchison, Jon Erwin, Cecil Stokes, Justin TolleyWritten by: Jon Erwin, Theresa Preston

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The Cabin In The Woods [Blu-ray]

If Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon set out to demonstrate just how fun the horror genre can be when they made Cabin in the Woods, they succeeded admirably. Those looking for a full-on horror film will be surprised (and possibly disappointed) by what Cabin has to offer, but fans of the genre and of Whedon's clever style of writing are likely to appreciate what they've done with this film, which is as much a tribute to horror films as it is a scary movie.

The Movie:

Written by Goddard and Whedon, and directed by Goddard, The Cabin in the Woods begins in standard horror fashion, as a group of college friends take a trip into the woods to spend their weekend hanging out. Little do they know, they're in for a really bad time. As Cabin is a film best watched without knowing too many specifics on the plot, I'm going to pause here for a spoiler warning. If you haven't seen the movie yet, the spoiler-free version of this review is that Cabin is a clever take on the horror genre, with equal parts humor and scares, great characters and a plot that offers a few surprises and numerous payoffs in its final act. If you're expecting something really scary and gory, you may be in for a disappointment, but Cabin is about so much more than blood, scares and violence. If you're looking for a more in depth spoiler-free take on the film, check out our theatrical review here.

And this is the official spoiler line. Read on at your own risk!

The Cabin in the Woods was promoted as a horror movie with a twist, and the movie delivers on that from the start, as there are two sides to this story. We're introduced to college students Dana Polk (Kristen Connolly), Curt Vaughan (Chris Hemsworth), Jules Louden (Anna Hutchison), Holden McCrea (Jesse Williams) and Marty Mikalski (Fran Kranz). They set off to embark on a fun weekend at a secluded cabin in the woods and end up unknowingly wandering directly into their very own horror movie-scenario, where each of them plays a pre-determined scary movie archetype. The stage is set well for those of us who know how this formula works. And we know it's just a matter of time before some horrible thing is unleashed upon them. We just don?t know what.

While the college kids are goofing off and partying, we see that they're being observed and manipulated by a group of technicians below ground, who are treating the whole situation like one huge and organized operation. Enter the lab coat wearing Wendy Lin (Amy Acker), and the head honchos (Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford) running the branch. Some of what's going on underground is explained to us, thanks to Daniel Truman (Brian White) being new on the job and observing the operation from an outside perspective. However, trying to understand what's happening is part of the appeal.

Found footage is the current trend for horror, and having written Cloverfield, Drew Goddard has some experience in that area. Cabin takes a different approach to the classic formula involving young people being picked off one by one by some kind of monster. Rather than taking the found-footage approach, the film's lab experiment-like operation offers a more refreshing view on an intentional formulaic horror scenario. The format often pulls us out of the fray, making it a bit harder to stay in scared-mode, but that's sort of the point. It's not a parody of horror movies, but there is a steady trickle of humor woven into the plot that comes at the expense of the tension. Cabin isn't trying to be the scariest movie you've ever seen. If anything, it's more of a tribute to scary movies than an all-out bloodbath, with a few surprises lurking around every corner, and a third act that delivers the goods. It's evident that Goddard and Whedon are horror fans and are trying to celebrate horror.

When I saw Cabin in the theaters, I left with a five-star impression of the film. I loved it. I loved the characters and the writing. I loved the humor. I loved the scary moments and I loved the ending. And I immediately wanted to watch it again, wondering how the film would hold up in a second pass. Would knowing the "twist" change my impression of it? I'll admit, it does lose a little something in the re-watch, which is why I wouldn't give it a full five stars. For those who like this movie, the film may not be as good as it was the first time through. But it does hold up really well, and the final act is particularly great in repeat viewings. Cabin in the Woods ranks up there with some of the best movies to hit theaters in 2012, and it's well worth owning.

The Disc:

The Cabin in the Woods Blu-ray doesn't disappoint. It comes packaged in a cardboard sleeve with a hologram cover featuring the Rubik's-cube-like cabin art, that, when turned, reveals a monster in each cube. The Blu-ray comes with a digital copy and Ultraviolet for those who want to download or stream the film to their computer or compatible portable devices. Bonus content includes a commentary featuring Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon, "It's Not What You Think: The Cabin in the Woods Bonus View Mode," the Wondercon Q&A panel, and various ?Making Of? featurettes, which look at the production of the movie. Those interested in seeing what went into the making of this movie, from numerous angles (writing, casting, visual effects, etc) should be more than satisfied by what the Blu-ray has to offer.

"We Are Not Who We Are" is more of a general behind-the-scenes look at the movie, and features Whedon and Goddard talking about developing the project together. There's also a segment that has the cast hanging around on set, and another that features Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins giving us a little tour of the control room. Those interested in a few more amusing details about Marty's habitual pot smoking will appreciate Fran Kranz in the "Marty's Secret Stash" feature. The amount of thought that went into Marty's pot smoking is amazing. Then again, it did prove to be a pretty notable plot point in the movie, so I suppose it warrants its own bonus feature on the Blu-ray. This feature also includes the "Hi My Name Is Joss" featurette, which has Whedon giving us a tour of the cabin.

"An Army of Nightmares: Makeup & Animatronic Effects" and "Primal Terror: Visual Effects" both offer some interesting looks on the process of designing the monsters, working on the special effects make-up and the puppets, as well as the visual effects, which are a mix of CG and practical effects. The visual effects featurette offers some great behind-the-scenes looks at the creature moments, and obviously plenty of trivia on the elevator bank scene and the carnage in the final act.

And finally, the commentary and "It's Not What You Think" Bonus View mode offer two alternative ways to watch the movie. Goddard and Whedon are both amusing guys and they converse well with one another, so the commentary is great and full of interesting anecdotes about the making of the movie, including the decision for Goddard to direct, casting people they love (Amy Acker, Tom Lenk) and finding the right people for the lead roles. As for the BonusView feature, I'm not a huge fan of picture-in-picture features. I have a much easier time watching something and listening to something else (via a commentary) than trying to watch two different things happen on screen.

There?s a wishlist of things I would have liked to see (like an interactive monster app), but overall, what the Cabin Blu-ray does offer is more than satisfying for those of us who loved the movie and want to know as much as the cast and crew are willing to reveal.

The Cabin In The Woods [Blu-ray] DetailsStarring: Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Jesse Williams, Chris Hemsworth, Fran Kranz, Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchison, Brian J. White, and Amy AckerWritten by: Drew Goddard, Joss Whedon

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Indiana Jones: The Complete Adventures [Blu-ray]

If you grew up in the 80s, you grew up with Indiana Jones, whether you knew it or not. Elements of all three of the movies were everywhere in pop culture, from "Why did it have to be snakes?" to the rolling boulder to the monkey brains, and you didn't even have to watch the movies to know and revere the man with the hat and the whip. But watching the films themselves, especially as an adult, is like pulling apart all the pieces that make up the legend-- does he still stand so tall when you spend 8 hours watching him onscreen?

The Movie:

Lucky for anyone going through The Complete Adventures, it all starts with Raiders of the Lost Ark, still one of the most fully satisfying and well-executed adventure movies of all time. From the opening scene on it's pure myth-making, introducing us to a man who knows how to get out of every problem, who shows strength in the face of certain death, and who isn't afraid to admit he's a badass who can't deal with the sight of a snake. The thing moves forward like a bullet, hopping across continents and through one obstacle after another; there's no time to pause for character development or emotion, so they toss it right in there with the action, a combination that makes every scene in the movie unmissable.

We think of Raiders as the template for the entire franchise, but what's surprising about revisiting Temple of Doom is how eager it is to shake that off; when it matches the Paramount logo to a mountain, just like in the first one, it's a metal mountain on a gong in a nightclub. Instead of kicking things off with an action scene, it's a giant tap-dancing number (well, the action starts up not much later). And while Raiders was all about on-the-ground fighting and scrapping, Temple of Doom's opening act culminates in the most physically improbable escape imaginable, our heroes going from a crashing plane to a raft in raging rapids without a scratch. But the eagerness to distance the second movie from the first also results in some colossal missteps, like the irritating kid sidekick and Kate Capshaw's love interest-- you never miss Marion Ravenwood more than you do an hour into Temple.

Last Crusade, on the other hand, arrives like the jolly half-brother of the original Raiders, with enough of the same DNA to feel familiar but a more cheerful and energetic spirit that makes it feel new. Watching it soon after Raiders points out how similar the movies are, but Crusade does improve on the original in parts, especially with the ending that plays like the grown-up version of the Raiders opening. You probably need the Temple interlude to be so grateful for the return to form in Crusade, but the third film is still the one I'm most likely to return to over and over-- what can I say, given the choice, I'll take the Sean Connery one.

And then, of course, there's Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, the 2008 late-arriving sequel that nobody really asked for, and that has so many godawful moments that it's far too easy to forget the parts of it that work. Watching the opening scene it's easy feel the same high hopes you had in the theater, and then Indiana Jones shares a moment with a CGI gopher, and wheels start to fall off. There's just too much in the movie, and in a series never exactly known for minimalism, that's surprisingly damaging. Every time Crystal Skull pulls off something that works, it finds five more things that don't; luckily on Blu-ray, you can just fast-forward through the parts of the movie that are awful and make it the Indiana Jones sequel you actually wanted.

The Disc:

All three of the original films have been meticulously restored, not unlike the process that went into the stunning recent Jaws release. It's impressive how much the effects in the original three films hold up in HD, and equally dismaying to see how much the Crystal Skull effects have aged in 4 short films-- that one is the least likely to hold up in the bunch. The outdoor scenes in all three films benefit the most from the transfer-- scenes like the Egyptian marketplace in Raiders or young Indy's train battle in Crusade are spectacular on Blu-ray.

The set is laid out like a book, with each film on an individual disc within a cardboard "page," and a fifth disc containing the extras. The individual discs contain only the film and some original trailers, and the fifth disc, to be honest, is pretty disappointingly short on bonus features. Pretty much all of the good stuff is crammed into a series of documentaries, with "On The Set Of Raiders of the Lost Ark" being the only new one. Luckily it's also fantastic, containing a bunch of behind-the-scenes footage from the set shown in the order of the film's action, with lots of insight into Spielberg and Ford's process of working together. At the end, somewhat incongruously, there's a reel of bloopers and deleted scenes from all four films, though shown in a montage with the score as the only sound. Why they didn't split up all that stuff into its own feature, I have no idea.

There are also separate "Making Of" documentaries for all four features, including one made in 1981 about Raiders-- all were released previously, but hey, if you've never seen it, it's new to you. All of the docs are crammed with information, of course, but it's always nice on a splashy disc release like this to be able to skim the info on your own time, rather than watch a series of docs that may or may not feel redundant, depending on your level of Indy fandom. The "Behind the Scenes" section contains even more info on all the technical elements, but again feels a bit like a jumble-- there had to be a better way to arrange and guide us through this wealth of information.

To own all of the Indiana Jones films on Blu-ray is enticement enough to pick up this set, and to be fair, there's a lot of information on that bonus disc, even if it's not especially well organized. The films have definitely never looked better, and since the films themselves are infinitely rewatchable and bonus features wear out, owning the set is worth it to just be able to travel to Indy's world, in beautiful HD and on demand.

Indiana Jones: The Complete Adventures [Blu-ray] DetailsDistributor: Paramount PicturesStarring: Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Sean Connery, Denholm Elliott, Shia LaBeouf, Kate Capshaw, John Rhys-Davies, Cate BlanchettWritten by: Lawrence Kasdan, Willard Huyck, Gloria Katz, Jeffrey Boam, David Koepp

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Titanic [Blu-ray]

There's no way I could ever review Titanic the way I review movies now, constantly taking steps back and figuring out what works and what doesn't, asking questions about dramatic structure and authenticity and the value of certain scenes. I fell hard for Titanic on its opening day 15 years ago, and I wouldn't be a movie critic without it; as I wrote on the film's 10th anniversary, it was the first movie that got me thinking about film as a global industry, and set me on a path that led me directly, well, right here.

The Movie:

Even now it's still hard to look at the movie removed from the giant phenomenon that surrounded it. It remains the second-highest grossing movie of all time (fifth if you adjust for inflation), and grossed another $57 million with a 3D re-release this spring. 15 years later Titanic remains a powerful beast, an earnest and unabashedly romantic movie that, even after years and years of backlash and mockery, draws you in like nobody's business.

Rewatching Titanic on Blu-ray wasn't exactly a chance for me to revisit parts of the movie I had forgotten-- I know it by heart, and watch at least parts of it yearly-- but to see it sharper and more beautiful since probably the very first time I saw it in theaters. Titanic played for more than six months at my local theater, and the 35 mm print was in pretty rough shape by the seventh time I saw it in May of 1998; I missed the 3D re-release earlier this year, so seeing Titanic in impeccable Blu-Ray on my home TV was a thrill. That HD quality is also a litmus test for the film's ability to stand the test of time, not just in terms of effects-- which look remarkably good if not perfect-- but how the stilted dialogue and occasional melodrama work when you don't have the filter of an "old-looking" film to see it through.

There's no denying that there is some excruciating dialogue in Titanic-- the scene in which Rose grabs Jack's portfolio and first sees his drawings is one of very few in the movie I've been able to judge more harshly as I've gotten older. And the way characters fall along lines of good or bad, with Billy Zane's sniveling lip standing in for all of his character development, helps make Titanic feel more like a big cardboard diorama than a living, breathing story. But dammit, Titanic works so hard to make none of that matter. You wouldn't get the spectacular effects and perfect action scenes if you didn't also let James Cameron write all the hamfisted dialogue. You wouldn't get Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio's finely measured and passionate performances if you didn't have their characters taking all the unlikely steps to be at the center of the action. Titanic is the behemoth that it is, for better or for worse, and its rewards outweigh the pitfalls tenfold.

Yes, I'm biased. But I bet a lot of people who don't like Titanic-- who were the wrong age or in the wrong place to fall for it in the 90s, who remember all the bad parts and choose to ignore the good ones-- would be as sucked into rewatching this film as I always am, if they sat down and gave it the proper chance. Like it or not, it's a crucial part of our film culture, a big bloated mirror that reflects us-- even if it reflects James Cameron and his maniacal ambition a bit more. You don't have to love Titanic like I do, but you've got to respect it, and this Blu-ray release is the best opportunity yet to do kiss the gaudy ring of recent American film history.

The Disc:

I don't have a 3D TV or 3D Blu-ray player, but the 2D Blu-ray is gorgeous anyway, without taking away from the deliberately old-timey feel of the movie-- there are soft halos over lights and a polish to the film that are beautifully intact even in HD. The movie comes in a four-disc set, and despite the opulent reputation of the ship itself, it's thankfully a no-frills affair, the four discs tucked logically inside the case with no extra paper or other gewgaws. Two of the discs are devoted to the 3D Blu-ray, which is kind of a neat reminder of when I picked up the VHS copy of the film in 1998 and it was on two tapes. The third disc contains the regular 2D version, as well as three commentaries held over from the 2005 DVD release-- one from James Cameron, one from an assortment of cast and crew including producer Jon Landau and Kate Winslet, and one from historians Don Lynch and Ken Marschall.

All three are fun glimpses into a massive production, but Cameron's is indispensable. He practically goes through the film shot by shot and explains how all of them were done, describing where CGI and models and the massive sets met, acknowledging the historical details he fudged (you can tell one inaccurate door really grates on him), and even revealing some of his famous on-set temper, like when he squabbled with a costume designer and threw one of Rose's hats overboard.

The fourth disc is crammed full of all the other bonus features, though somewhat disappointingly, only two of them are new, the documentaries "Reflections on Titanic" and "Titanic: The Final Word with James Cameron." Running over an hour long, "Reflections on Titanic" weaves together fascinating on-set footage-- the camera guys are all wearing scuba tanks!-- with cast and crew interviews, but given the level of access, you might wish for a little more nuts-and-bolts detail instead of the constant back-patting that goes on here. The second doc, "Titanic: The Final Word with James Cameron," is strictly for those interested in the ship itself-- it documents his research into the ship's actual sinking, including visits to the wreck.

The details missing from "Reflections on Titanic" are much more visible in the older "Behind the Scenes" series of doc vignettes, included in the massive "Production" section. There you can find all kinds of other treats, like time-lapse photography of the set being built in Mexico, and an incredibly silly video made by the film's crew that's the closest this set comes to including bloopers.

Finally, an incredible 30 deleted scenes are also included, and they're color-corrected and scored as if they were in the final film. Some are insignificant, some are massive (like a fight scene between Jack and Cal's manservant, or an entire alternate ending), but in pretty much every case they would make for a worse movie. Watching the scenes one after another honestly made me like the movie less, so you might be better off flipping through them with Cameron's predictably insightful commentary.

Having owned behind-the-scenes books about Titanic written when the movie came out, this disc was a gold mine for me, crammed with content I'd never seen before about a movie I love. But with paltry additional features from the 2005 DVD release, it might not be as much of a draw for someone who's already seen this stuff. At the same time, if you've never seen Cameron's commentary, that in combination with the HD quality film is worth it alone.

Distributor: Paramount PicturesStarring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane, Bill Paxton, Gloria Stuart, Victor Garber, Frances Fisher, Kathy Bates and Suzy AmisProduced by: James Cameron, Jon Landau

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House At The End Of The Street

House At The End Of The Street isn?t a great horror movie, but it is a careful one. It consistently chooses the correct camera angles. It lets its characters interact like real human beings. It uses the weather to its advantage. It gives and withholds the right ratio of information. It makes the correct decision more often than not, and consequently, when all of those little moments are added up, they far outweigh the story problems that would have easily sunk most films in its position. Plus, having Jennifer Lawrence and Elisabeth Shue really helps.

Most of us learned a long time ago not to expect anything from performances in horror films. Maybe it?s the subject matter. Maybe it?s the self-fulfilling prophecy of low expectations. Whatever the reason, the acting in scary movies is bad far more often than it?s good, which is why it feels so refreshing to watch Lawrence and Shue offer their usual quality. Both women have been better in other things, but their mere solidness in House At The End Of The Street really helps to sell everything going on. They make us care about their characters? screams and care about their basic movements. They even convince us to care about their mother-daughter relationship.

That?s probably where the two women are most important Like all horror flicks, House is concerned with terror, but the lead-up to the fright fest is longer than usual. In less capable hands, the devoted time could have felt boring and wasted, but here, it feels honest and human. The relationship between mom Sarah (Shue) and daughter Elissa (Lawrence) has been fractured for a long time; so, in order to mend fences and start anew, they trade the hustle and bustle of Chicago for the stillness of a large house next to a national forest. Ordinarily, there?s no way they could afford such a property, but thanks to the odious mansion with a dark past next door, they?re able to move in.

The residence in question is occupied by part-time college student Ryan Jacobson (Max Theriot). When he was a kid, his mentally deranged sister murdered their parents and then escaped into the woods, sinking property values in a ten mile radius and forever cursing him to be the weirdo everyone in town is suspicious of. He just wants to be left alone, but Elissa has other ideas. She sees a sad little project she can fix, much to her mother?s chagrin.

You can make your own guesses as to how this set-up turns into a horror movie. No doubt the more astute among you could probably even come up with a better story arc than what actually unfolds from this point forward. There are definitely a few holes and question marks in what we?re given, but thanks to the solid character development we got early on and a great sense of scare timing from director Mark Tonderai, it?s still snappy, exciting and pretty satisfying.

House At The End Of The Street realizes scariness and creepiness are often proportional to how much we care about the character or characters in trouble. It takes great pains to present Elissa as a believable high school girl (at one point, she expresses an interest in using the term ?dickhole? more) and Sarah as a believable mother (she shoots some of the meanest death glares I?ve ever seen). By the end of the film, they feel like women we know. They feel like women we?d like to see the best for, and even as the plot hurdles out of control, we?re invested in the outcome. We care. That?s rare for a horror movie, and it?s as good of a reason to see a movie as any I can think of.

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Judge Dredd [Blu-Ray]

You might not read my reviews regularly, but if you did, then you?d know that Judge Dredd is my kind of movie. I loved it back when I first saw it in the theaters with my dad, and I still love it today. I am?THE LAW!

The Movie:

The Sylvester Stallone vehicle, Judge Dredd, is a much-maligned comic book movie from the 90s, and I never understood why. It?s loud, it?s exciting, and it?s even funny (Yes, Rob Schneider can actually be funny in the right situation!). One of the major complaints is that, oh, wah wah wah, Judge Dredd rarely ever takes off his helmet in the comics, wah, wah, wah. As if you even knew that before this movie came out and somebody told you that fact. And secondly, Spider-Man never shot webs out of his skin, either, but THAT happened in Sam Raimi?s trilogy, which was still widely loved by most fans and newcomers alike. So what?s the deal?

My theory? The unfamiliarity of the character, plus the R rating, and the overall hamminess of it (oh, and Rob Schneider), equals a critical and commercial failure. It?s not like Judge Dredd is an unknown character or anything like that. His 2000 A.D. series is quite famous in the pantheon of comic books, but no one would mistake him for the popularity of Batman or The X-Men. He suffers the same fate as somebody like Jonah Hex, even though that movie was lousy and this one isn?t. People just couldn?t get into the character. At least, that?s what I think.

The film stars Sylvester Stallone in a role that could have just as easily gone to Arnold Schwarzenegger. He plays a cop with adamant beliefs in the law, and acts as judge, jury, and executioner, all wrapped into one glorious piece of beef. He does his job better than anyone else ever could, but things go awry when he?s framed for murder and is sent into exile (with Rob Schneider). What follows is his ascent back to glory as he seeks out the culprit, who is played with hilarious bombast by Armand Assante. One of my favorite moments from Assante occurs when he curls up his lip like Stallone and spouts, ?Leeeeaawwww!? Just watch the movie, and I?m sure you?ll also find this funny.

And that?s why I love this film. It?s so fun to make fun of but genuinely enjoyable to watch, too. Sure, none of the actors take themselves too seriously, but that?s what?s great about it. It feels like a joke, and it is, but it?s also immensely entertaining, just like a dumb action picture should be. I?m not going to compare it to something as classic as say, Commando, which I consider the comic gem of action pictures. But I will say that, all the way through, while I?m laughing at its ridiculousness, I?m also enjoying the special affects, gunfire, and one-liners (?I knew you?d say that?) that this film has to offer. It seriously never lets up, but in a strangely, not-too-violent fashion. Like I mentioned earlier, the movie is rated-R and it really never should have been. Even back then it was tame, and by today?s standards, it?d be downright be PG-13?which is another reason why people might hate it so much. It seems pretty kid-friendly, and almost entirely directed toward teenagers, while people probably expected a bloodbath. Well, that never bothered me, and I liked the film for what it was?A goofy, explosive action flick. I loved it back then, and I still love it today. Long live, Judge Dredd!

The Disc:

Okay, no effort whatsoever went into this Blu-Ray disc. I actually never had this movie on DVD, but if I did, I?m sure I?d have the same special feature in, ?Stallone?s Law: The Making of Judge Dredd,? as it was obviously made make in the 90s. Stallone hasn?t looked so young in years.

It?s enjoyable, to say the least. Stallone hams it up and continues to do that weird curve thing with his lip while he discusses how hard it was to make the film, while the other actors talk up their characters and the movie. It?s all pretty interesting stuff and I enjoyed watching it and learning about the special effects (this is back in the day when people actually worked their asses off to make something look futuristic and real), but really, I wanted something more. Perhaps, an in-depth look at the series in preparation for the new Dredd that comes out pretty soon? Or maybe an, ?In Defense of Dredd? featurette, or something like that, since this new Dredd looks like it was pretty much just created to wash out the bad taste that the original movie made with the general public. Or maybe, I don?t know, a commentary by the director or writer. Anything, really, other than that one special feature, as the only other extra on this disc is the trailer, which is badass and all, but I wanted more.

Overall, it?s a really crummy disc for special features, and if you already own Judge Dredd on DVD, then you can skip the Blu-Ray upgrade entirely. It doesn?t even look that crisp or new. So, this is a great movie, but lousy with special features. That?s pretty much Judge Dredd on Blu-Ray in a nutshell.

Distributor: Hollywood PicturesStarring: Slyvester Stallone, Armand Assante, Diane Lane, Rob Schneider, Max Von SydowProduced by: Charles Lippincott, Beau E.L. MarksWritten by: William Wisher, Jr., Steven E. de Souza

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The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

The intense and sometimes terrifying emotions of adolescence, so easily forgotten by adults, are revived, with thoughtfulness and deep affection in The Perks of Being A Wallflower, in which writer and director Stephen Chbosky adapts his own hit young adult novel. It's only Chbosky's second feature, and his first with any kind of real budget, but he navigates the treacherous terrain of altering his own novel quite well. At the very least, he picked a damn-near-perfect cast, which in a movie about the deep feelings and pains of growing up, is more than half the battle.

As the titular wallflower Charlie, Logan Lerman is a little more blank and mannered than the character ought to be, but he's more than balanced out by two terrific co-stars-- Harry Potter alum Emma Watson as ultimate cool-girl-crush Sam, and especially We Need To Talk About Kevin's Ezra Miller as her vivacious brother Patrick. Charlie befriends both Sam and Patrick early on in his freshman year of high school, where he's particularly vulnerable after the suicide of his only real friend from middle school. Sam and Patrick, who call their gang of friends the "island of misfit toys," do all kinds of silly and cool high-school things, like organizing a Rocky Horror live show, going to all the dingy and most interesting parties, or standing on the bed of a truck while driving way too fast through Pittsburgh's Fort Pitt tunnel.

Being the kind of high school story that spans an entire year, Perks has a rangy and loose narrative, tied together by Charlie's perspective and his occasionally deteriorating mental state. We see his nameless parents (Dylan McDermott and Kate Walsh) as well-meaning but distant, his popular sister (Nina Dobrev) as an occasionally exasperated but loving caretaker, and in flashbacks his beloved Aunt Helen (Melanie Lynskey), whose death in a car accident is just one of the many things that haunts Charlie about his short life. Charlie is a deeply internal character, and so passive he gets in a relationship with the bossy Mary Elizabeth (the great Mae Whitman) essentially against his will, and can make for a frustrating window into this world, especially near the end of the film when the story takes a sharp turn into Charlie's own mental struggles. With Lerman punching a little above his weight class, and Chbosky an able but not outstanding director, the film's occasional jumps into melodrama doesn't quite ring true, and expose the fact that the movie, while quite good, can't drive through to its own heart the way the book did.

But there are also indelible moments spread throughout the film, like Sam and Patrick's self consciously showy dance in the school gym, the "infinite" drive through the tunnel, or the cafeteria fight after Patrick confronts the football player (Johnny Simmons) he had been dating in secret. Especially with the electric Miller playing him, Patrick is the movie's best contribution to the ranks of cinematic high schoolers, openly gay and popular in that way of wild outsiders, brazen and confident but a little broken too. No one can match him when he's onscreen, even with such a strong cast behind him, but Chbosky knows this, and lets the film's best scenes play out powerfully enough that they make up for what's weaker.

The Perks of Being A Wallflower might not become as iconic as the best-selling book, but its insights into the inner lives of teenagers remain as affecting and rare as they were when the novel was published 10 years ago. Chbosky can't reinvent the characters he created for the screen, but he's definitely done right by them.

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The Possession

It?s gotten to the point where I don?t care if a horror movie scares me anymore. Sure, on-screen creepy-crawlies send an undeniable chill down my spine, but Hollywood?s go-to scares ? such as ghosts, vampires, zombies and demons ? just don?t do the trick. I still appreciate horror movies, even if they don't give me nightmares, because I like the fact that filmmakers are trying to get the audience to have a visceral reaction while sitting in a darkened theater. But so many modern horror films are lazy about it, relying on tropes instead of exercising a creative muscle and finding new ways to affect their audience. Ole Bornedal?s The Possession is nothing more than an amalgamation of some of the more popular examples of these and the result is boring, repetitive junk.

In fact, if there?s something impressive about The Possession it?s the sheer number of clich?s that it manages to include in its 92 minute runtime (though, I should mention that it feels a hell of a lot longer than that). Based on a true story ? of course ? the movie centers on a divorced dad (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) who, in hopes of purchasing his daughter?s (Natasha Calis) affection, buys her a ?dybbuk box? at a local yard sale. What he doesn?t know is that the box contains a demon? ? of course ? and when the daughter opens the box she becomes possessed by said demon? ? of course. After numerous interminable scenes of the little girl acting bizarre, the dad eventually goes to a holy man to try and get the demon exorcised.? The only thing even remotely ?new? is the fact that there?s a Tzadik (played by reggae/alternative rock musician Matisyahu) performing the exorcism instead of a priest, but even that was already done in David S. Goyer?s 2009 film The Unborn. Others may feel differently, but I don?t find counting banalities particularly entertaining.

Despite having a horror legend like Sam Raimi serving as a producer, the film doesn?t even manage to be appealing aesthetically. Scenes don?t so much end as have the next one begin, making the movie feel like it was edited with a jackhammer instead of a scalpel. Many just cut to black and then fade into the next sequence, which completely undercuts any kind of tension or tone the film striving to achieve. Even the score comes across as lazy, with its single piano notes adding nothing to the atmosphere and simply saying, ?Oh, just so you know this movie does have some music playing in the background.? There are cases where a simply story can be saved by technical ingenuity and creativity, but this is not one of those cases.

The Possession is a PG-13 movie that probably should have been an R, and watching the ?horror? scenes you question what the potential could have been with the more restrictive rating. While there are two scenes in which characters are thrown violently around rooms, they are cut so quickly and we see so little that they end up having very little effect on the audience. This winds up putting all of the pressure on ?creepy? scenes in which the little girl, where she is surrounded by moths or finds fingers growing out of the back of her throat, but, again, it?s hard to be chilled by something you?ve seen hundreds of times before.

I?m certain that there are still creative, interesting stories to be told based around the idea of demonic possession, but this one can barely be considered an effort. To the film?s credit, the performances, particularly those by Morgan and Calis, are solid, but there?s only so much that actors can do with such empty material. Chances are you?ve already seen a movie exactly like The Possession once or twice before, so don?t bother wasting your money on it again.

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LOTR: The Two Towers Extended Edition 5-Disc Set [Blu-ray]

For the most part The Two Towers is a seamless merging of the films in the trilogy. As the center film within three, The Two Towers ran the risk of getting lost a little between the newness of the first film and the conclusion of the third, but it may actually be better precisely because it is the center film. Where The Fellowship of the Ring must deal with a lengthy introduction to the series and The Return of the King must close all of its storylines out, The Two Towers is all action.

The Movie:

While The Fellowship of the Ring is a story about combining forces to meet a unique challenge, The Two Towers finds our heroes split apart and harried. Ultimately, they are still working to defeat Sauron, however, and although they split up, the bonds simply seem stretched rather than broken. Beyond this, the group?s various journeys allow us to see more of Middle-earth. This makes the world seem more vast and more dangerous, but also a creation so unique and varied that it is absolutely worth preserving, even if the nine are separated and fighting different battles along the way.

The Two Towers relies slightly more heavily on special effects (or at least creates a slew of different visions with special effects) than the first film in the trilogy, which actually proves to be a boon for the film. Battle intricacies and exquisite scenes featuring the bold-eyed Gollum (Andy Serkis) are the real standouts on the set. As Gollum, Serkis plays wretched and ghoulish perfectly, and in him we see the movements and textures of some important CGI characters that followed (think Harry Potter?s Dobby). As the design team notes in the commentary to the set, as a digital character, Gollum had to deliver as if he was a real performer on set, with the same range of movement and expressions. Gollum is a home run, but the character isn?t the only winning thing about the film.

There?s over forty minutes of extra footage with the film and with the extra time, nearly all of the characters are able to be fleshed out to more of an extent. Faramir gets the biggest bump that I?ve noticed in the extended edition, but it?s nice to see more from the hobbits and the other characters, as well.

When it was filmed, The Two Towers felt like a disaster to Jackson, the design crew, and the production crew. Not only was it difficult to translate the book into a script that would work for a theatrical film, it was difficult to build characterization when each of the characters was hopping from one location to another and there was more than one journey for the camera to follow at any given moment. This caused a lot of editing stress, and The Two Towers may be the film that is least close to Tolkien?s vision. However, sometimes stress can be inspiring. The Two Towers may not be perfect for series fans, but it?s cut together so well and it tells such compelling stories with such vivid action, for the less literary fan, it?s probably the easiest film in the trilogy to invest in, more intricate than the first film and less arduous than the third.

Are you looking for Cinema Blend?s reviews of the Extended Edition 5-Disc singles sets for The Fellowship of the Ring or The Return of the King? We?ve got them!

The Disc:

The first 2 discs in the 5-Disc Extended Edition set feature the movie, as well as commentaries with the cast, director and writer, production team, and design team. Because there are the aforementioned four commentaries accompanying the movie, and because it is the extended version of the film, the movie is split onto the two separate discs. The cast commentary is certainly the most jovial of the commentaries, followed by the Peter Jackson-oriented director?s commentary. However, if you are more excited about the tricks of the trade and the technical specifications, you?ll want to check out the other two.

There?s a whole set of features that look at how the book came together and ?J.R.R. Tolkien? Origins of Middle-earth? is a documentary about ?The Inklings,? which was a group of friends?including C.S. Lewis?that met to hang out and read one another?s works in progress. There was more of a challenge with writing The Two Towers for Tolkien and for the movie creators because the ending of The Fellowship of the Rings leaves its characters in a very complicated arc. Producers had to mix and match book elements a lot more during this film, which is why Faramir (David Wenham) ends up taking a different trip and even certain fighting scenes are displaced. Several segments take a look at the significance of Gollum in the book and films. Like the other extended sets, there is a Middle-earth map and a look at how New Zealand was transformed for the film.

For the film buffs, Disc 4 might be the most fascinating. There?s a documentary, called ?Filming the Two Towers,? that looks in depth at the making of the film, and following that, the disc looks at the editorial work, the music, and, the visual effects. Finally ?The Battle for Helm?s Deep is Over? discusses how negative the entire cast and crew were while filming The Two Towers due to the problems with the script and the up-in-the-air way everyone thought the film might be received. Luckily things went well, and by the time the film premiere for The Two Tower occurred, the buzz was high and the hobbits (Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Dominic Monaghan, and Billy Boyd), especially, had become super stars. This kind of helped to rejuvenate everyone?s mental state for some of the bonus feature interviews.

Disc 5 features a documentary by Costa Botes that features a lot of raw footage from the film production. While watching, I came to the realization that the behind-the-scenes look gives a lot of visual answers to how various special effects were achieved. Some of this stuff is even mentioned in the commentary, but to get a real visual of what the designers or Jackson had to accomplish really was invaluable.

The extras in The Two Towers Extended Edition 5-Disc set are mostly extras available with the regular DVD set. What you are trading up for this time around is remastered audio and a reworked picture. The set looks beautiful, and the menu is one of the most fun to navigate I have ever seen. Still, if you?ve doled out for the Extended Edition DVD, you may not want to risk the price. I would say it depends on how invested in the series you are.

LOTR: The Two Towers Extended Edition 5-Disc Set [Blu-ray] DetailsStarring: Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Andy Serkis, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellanProduced by: Peter Jackson, Barrie M. Osborne, Fran WalshWritten by: Fran Walsh, Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens, Stephen Sinclair

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The Words

Sometimes the success or failure of a film shouldn?t be measured by totaling how many things it does right and how many it does wrong. Sometimes the better gauge is whether the movie remains interesting throughout.

The Words is supposed to be complicated, but at times, it?s needlessly so. It follows people being read a book about a character who is being told the true story behind the main character in a work of fiction. Apart from giving the screenwriters the ability to comment on their own work--which, by the way, is annoying and stupid--there?s not a single reason why this extra layer is necessary. Coupled with a tendency to gloss over rather than actually analyze and a rather strange pacing, there?s a hell of a lot that could be improved upon, but The Words still works because it offers a story viewers will want to see through to the end. Even as it ambles in wrong directions and inserts unearned tears, it never feels like a waste of time. Like one of the women listening to the story, we need to know how it ends.

Well before we get that satisfaction, we?re introduced to Rory Jansen (Bradley Cooper). He?s a struggling author and far less importantly, the fictional main character in successful writer Clay Hammond?s (Dennis Quaid) new novel. Rory writes mostly angry young male stuff, as he self-deprecatingly calls it, but after a few years of rejections, he takes a real job to help support his beautiful wife Dora (Zoe Saldana). They honeymoon in Paris, and at an antique shop, find an old leather satchel. Inside its pocket is an old manuscript, which problematically, is better than anything Rory has ever written.

Of course, Rory decides to steal the novel, but The Words isn?t about that decision exactly. It?s about how dozens of decisions made by Rory and the man who actually wrote the book (Jeremy Irons) all had to happen in order to give the failed author a chance to steal his critically acclaimed book. Within this framework, there are larger ideas, but given the film?s snappy runtime and the inclusion of Quaid?s useless character, most subtlety and nuance is eschewed in favor of actually showing those dozens of decisions that had to happen. Whether or not this is a bad thing depends on your expectations.

All of the focus on plot makes The Words exciting and swift. There are two good stories here, and we?re given each in a timely manner. The result is pretty riveting, but because so much actually happens, the film ruins its chance to be anything better than pretty good. We don?t really know the main characters, we?re just told details about their lives. We don?t really see the lead-ups to events, we just see the events themselves. We?re shuttled from one place to another so quickly that there?s just not much time for anything else.

The Words is the type of film that?s easy to nitpick. It?s the type that can be cast off for plenty of little errors and poor decisions, but no matter how many times it gets lost, it never loses its momentum or intrigue. A shallow good time is still a good time.

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Trouble With The Curve

Trouble With The Curve, the directorial debut of Robert Lorenz, is almost the exact opposite of Bennett Miller?s Moneyball. One is a bold story about a man who identifies a broken system and tries to break through the status quo by introducing a new approach to baseball scouting using statistics, algorithms and technology. The other is about a veteran scout who outright rejects any kind of new system or ideas in favor of the aforementioned status quo. But the most important difference between the baseball dramas is that one is a compelling, well-made movie with something to say, while the other is as fresh as a twelfth inning ballpark hot dog and half as entertaining.

The problems start with the script. Written by Robert Brown, the story follows Gus (Clint Eastwood), an Atlanta Braves scout who discovers he is losing his eyesight and goes on what could possibly be his last scouting trip. Joining him is his lawyer daughter Mickey (Amy Adams), not only to make sure that he?s alright, but to also try and bond with him and get some answers to lifelong questions. It?s a too-familiar father-daughter story, but the issues run much deeper than that. The characters are all clich?s ? from Mickey being the standard workaholic, emotionally unavailable female lead to Justin Timberlake?s Johnny, a young, hot-shot, up-and-coming scout who looks to Gus as a mentor and takes a romantic interest in his daughter ? and their motivations and actions often don?t make sense (for example, Gus goes to see a doctor when he first has trouble seeing and then ignores the doctor's advice to see a specialist because he doesn't trust doctors). The antagonists ? namely the computer-centric younger scout played by Matthew Lillard and endorsement deal-obsessed player (Joe Massingill) that Gus travels to look at ? are cartoonishly douchey; the third act turn is foreshadowed to death; there are two dance sequences written within five minutes of each other?the list just keeps going.

While Adams does manage to put in a solid and honest performance, digging deep to find emotional moments for her rote character, the script, direction and editing actually makes you worry about the talented cast. There?s a scene early in the film where John Goodman, who plays Gus? pal and colleague, visits his friend?s home for a chat and the dialogue is as atonal as a middle school play. Given Eastwood?s well-known directorial habit of rarely doing more than two or three takes of any shot, it?s not hard to imagine that Lorenz, who long served as Eastwood?s first assistant director, took the same approach. Hopefully the lesson he?ll take into his next project will be to shoot a few more for safety.

The film is the first that Eastwood has acted in since 2008?s Gran Torino, and watching it you wish that he had stayed behind the scenes. Gus gives him absolutely nothing to do other than sit around looking grumpy, yell at people and complain about the younger generation and his declining health ? you know, the stereotypical grandpa. The audience is meant to take him as a troubled, sad old man, but he?s so disgruntled and mean that it?s hard to give him any sympathy. Eastwood is a true film legend and known for being such a man?s man, and nobody wants to see an icon like him as a troubled, sad, old man. He used to be The Man With No Name, Dirty Harry Callahan and Josey Wales, but now he?s having trouble urinating due to an inflamed prostate (30 seconds after the title card, no less) and awkwardly warbling ?You Are My Sunshine? to his wife?s gravestone. And as bad as that sounds reading it, it?s even worse on the big screen.

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