Hope Springs

Admit it-- you never, ever thought you'd see Tommy Lee Jones and Meryl Streep in a bedroom scene together. That's not just because of Hollywood's well-documented aversion to love scenes between anyone under the age of 30, though that's part of it too. But while Streep has spent her 50s and early 60s as a vivacious and legitimately sexy screen presence in the likes of It's Complicated and Julie & Julia, Jones has stepped behind his jowly scowl to grump his way through his work-- whether in something fluffy as Captain America or serious as No Country For Old Men, he's had the weight of three worlds on his shoulders. So it's a revelation, in Hope Springs, to see Jones so much as smile, much less feed Streep chocolate-covered strawberries by the fire.

And when David Frankel, who directed Streep in The Devil Wears Prada and also brought us nonsense like Marley & Me, puts his glossy commercial sensibilities on hold and lets scenes like that play out between his lead actors, Hope Springs becomes pretty special, a deep and often unflinching look at how the spark can snuff out in even the most amiable of marriages. The story is dead simple but not entirely predictable, and Steve Carell's presence as a very strait-laced marriage counselor is a mystery, but Hope Springs gets by on the constant magnetism of its leads, even when the best it does by them is get out of their way.

The script from first-timer Vanessa Taylor makes some very excellent moves-- letting Streep silently play out a failed seduction, for example-- but plenty of bad ones, establishing Jones's Arnold as a dried-up grump through clanking cliches, or saddling Streep's Kay with a conversation with a friend (Jean Smart!) that says out loud everything we already know. Then again, Hope Springs is a movie all about saying things out loud, as Kay wrangles Arnold into a week of marriage therapy at the picturesque Maine office of Dr. Feld (Carell), the smarmy-looking guy in blazers and sweaters who wrote a marriage self-help book. There's a cynical version of this story in which Dr. Feld turns out to be a charlatan-- that's a much more typical Steve Carell plot, come to think of it-- but this guy really is there to help, and sits the unwilling Arnold and shy Kay down on his couch to talk out all the reasons their marriage is in a deep freeze.

Normally that's where you cue the montage and take the easy route to a happier union, but Hope Springs lingers forever in the steps toward getting there, from an exercise in which they're forced to merely hold each other in bed to a painfully awkward session in which Arnold admits he wouldn't mind some oral sex once in a while. Frankel doesn't quite know how to handle the potential awkward comedy here, leaving some scenes-- like an aborted nooky session in a movie theater-- are left to die. But the lack of comedic direction also makes it harder to distance yourself from Arnold and Kay's troubles, and as the two of them peel back the layers of complacency and address what's real, the audience is forced to shoulder some of that burden too-- and all while gussied up as a late summer rom-com, no less.

The poster for Hope Springs features Streep and Jones against a white background, no Carell in sight, with the vague promise of flirtation between them. That's pretty much the best the movie has to offer too, the chance to watch these two veterans stake out a very real relationship on screen, while muddling through a film that doesn't offer a whole lot beyond them.

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Ice Age: Continental Drift

Ice Age: Continental Drift isn?t a bad movie. In fact, it?s better than I expected. The animation is vibrant and just the right level of detailed. Directors Steve Martino and Mike Thurmeier have a way with angles, always choosing just the right perspectives to make the pictures pop and the action frenzied. A hurried sense of danger runs like an undercurrent through the film, and the plot works fairly well as an adventure story. Unfortunately, what Continental Drift lacks, apart from a single wow moment, are laughs and moments of joy.

The Ice Age series has always worked best when it balances good one-liners and zany shenanigans with chaotic excitement. Continental Drift makes the occasional joke, but none of the humor feels particularly fresh or memorable. As a result, the tone is a bit off. Too many quips are mailed in, and too much dialogue is earmarked for proving a moral lesson or advancing the story arc. That?s not to say the premise doesn?t work. It does. It?s just absent that likeable quality that made fans want to return to the first installment. If the goal was to create a watchable hour-and-a-half of material, Continental Drift is clearly a success, but if the goal was to create a product anyone older than ten would want to watch again, the film has to be considered a disappointment.

The story begins with our old friend Scrat, who, not surprisingly, is hunting for acorns. Due mostly to incompetence, his misadventure winds up taking him to the Earth?s core where all his shuffling sets off a series of earthquakes that rip Pangaea into the continents we know today. Manny (Ray Romano), Sid (John Leguizamo) and Diego (Denis Leary) all wind up on a floating iceberg, while their family and friends seek shelter on one of the continents. Promises to see each other again are shouted as the makeshift raft drifts into the unknown, and our heroes set off to meet new characters and engineer schemes to get back home.

The ocean is a new playground for the Ice Age animators, and in pirate ships, abandoned islands and ferocious animals, Continental Drift finds inspiration. It?s during this stretch the film overtly works. We?re introduced to the deadly Captain Gutt (wonderfully voiced by Peter Dinklage) and his band of goofy pirates. One-by-one, he saved each of their lives. In return, they swore their allegiances, and now, he?d like to add Manny, Sid and Diego to his crew. They refuse and destroy his ship in the process, turning from potential friends to hated, bumbling foes in an instant. Eventually, our three heroes? quest to find land and Gutt?s promise for vengeance intersect, creating a somewhat interesting third act that?s arguably worth the price of admission.

Coming up with a reason for a sequel is always difficult. Making a fourth installment seem worthwhile is borderline impossible. Oddly, Continental Drift actually accomplishes that task. Once Manny and company are set adrift, it?s obvious there?s enough action and adventure to warrant a new film. Unfortunately, the film doesn?t follow through with the easy part and write enough jokes to make the experience fun. Since the adventure isn?t quite adventurous enough on its own, there?s just not enough here to call Continental Drift a good movie. It?s just passable, which might be worth it to hardcore fans but won?t be enough to satisfy the rest of us.

There?s already been talk of a fifth installment. Given how well the film is performing, I think it?s likely we will get another Ice Age movie. After watching Continental Drift, I?m not opposed to that idea. I just hope to Scrat everyone involved makes a concerted effort to have a little more fun while making it. Theatergoers need reasons to smile and jokes to laugh at. An animated movie has to be more than pretty exciting, and this one just isn?t.

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Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection

In many ways, Madea (Tyler Perry) is the least important character in her movies. She might be the main draw to bring fans into the theater, but for a crazy old woman prone to shooting off her mouth, acting impulsively and threatening harm, she is remarkably consistent. She always brings the same mix of energy, humor, charisma and moral jugment. Consequently, it?s the characters around her who determine whether each film is above average or below average, and in Witness Protection, those supports leave little to be desired.

Madea has always played best when she?s been a foil, the most ridiculous person in the room called in like a ringer to provide an instant spark and a whole lot of laughs. Unfortunately, the scenes without her or her brother Joe Simmons in Witness Protection feel lifeless and easy. They lack any kind of spark or humor, which makes Eugene Levy push his typical, awkward, middle-aged white dude to an unrealistic and uncomfortable extreme in an attempt to generate laughs. When that doesn?t work, the film even gets a bit gimmicky, introducing a male authority with a really high voice and a female authority with a really low voice. It?s not the worst thing in the world, but it?s not particularly good either. Altogether, it amounts to a dozen or so funny scenes featuring Madea and/or Joe and a dozen or so scenes that swing and miss en route to advancing a rather generic plot.

That story arc involves a Ponzi scheme unintentionally run by George Needleman (Levy). Our protagonist is a hapless yes-man who was only promoted from accountant to CFO because his boss (Tom Arnold) needed someone to bury when it all came crashing down. The avalanche begins in Witness Protection?s first scene. Charities have been defrauded. Mob money has been laundered, and all the high level employees have taken off, leaving George and some pissed off authorities to clean up the mess. They transfer him and his family to Georgia to escape mob hitmen, and while there, he, of course, stays with Madea and Joe.

They offer the Needleman?s shelter, but more importantly for us, they offer laughs and a renewed purpose. George is a spineless pushover. His wife Kate (Denise Richards) hates conflict. Her teenage step-daughter Cindy (Danielle Campbell) is a complete bitch, and her half-brother Howie (Devan Leos) is miserable at baseball. Along with George?s dementia-stricken mother (Doris Roberts), the four are taught lessons, screamed at and pushed back together by Madea and Joe?s hilarious and overbearing hands. They might not work as characters out in the real world, but in Madea?s house, they?re serviceable vehicles to absorb both wisdom, punishments and buckets full of water.

Perry?s biggest fans will definitely find enough reasons here to smile. Watching Madea go through airport security and Joe make a list of his most Joe-like qualities are hilarious and endearing high moments, but all too often, Witness Protection just overtly doesn?t work. There are too many scenes with people singing in falsetto voices in elevators and characters pretending to be French to number this among Perry?s better films. It?s a passable attempt but not a result worth watching over-and-over.

For the past few years, the director has perfected his talent and started making the type of movies that indicate he could eventually produce something special. This is a bit of a step backwards, but it?s not a failure. If you haven?t seen any of the Madea movies, don?t start here. If you?ve enjoyed all the prior efforts, go ahead and pay to see this one. You?ll leave with at least a few funny memories.

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Wrath of the Titans [Blu-Ray]

When I heard that a God of War movie is actually in the works, I got super excited. Not only because I?ve been thoroughly invested in the game?s story since the very beginning, but because I also knew that if it?s good, it could possibly put an end to these damn Clash/Wrath of the Titans movies. Hopefully, this one will be the last.

The Movie:

You know what? These Titans movies have been so much better for me to watch at home, because I certainly can?t watch them in the theaters. Twice I?ve gone to see them on the big screen, and twice I?ve fallen asleep in my seat with spilled popcorn all over my shoes when I woke up. That?s probably more my fault than Hollywood?s since I was the one who was tricked twice by lavish trailers that promised awesomeness, only to reward me with garbage. But at home, at least I can pause it and take a snooze when it gets to the boring parts. At least this Blu-ray is good for that.

To this film?s credit, at least it?s better than the first one, which isn?t saying much. But at least this film actually has a titan in it, unlike the first one, which had a title that didn?t make any sense (Clash of the Titans? What titans?). This film focuses on the titan Kronos, who is the father of Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades. Hades has hatched a plan out of spite for Zeus to release Kronos from his prison in Tartarus, and Perseus (Sam Worthington) is brought in to aid the gods and stop him. It?s a nice progression from the last movie, which was more a remake of the original 1981 version than anything else, and it?s a slightly stronger picture for it. There?s a lot more actual mythology this time, and it helps, but it only helps so much.

Cyclopes, a chimera, and a minotaur all make an appearance in this film, and it adds a great deal to the movie as the mythology that backs them up is great. But the problems of the first film still plague this one, with its hero being problem numero uno. Sam Worthington is not an action hero. I know Hollywood has tried to make him out to be one, but he?s not. He?s a terrible actor and he doesn?t carry the story along well. You never really care what happens to him, and he just has that look of a guy who you know is going to make it to the end with barely a scratch. He just doesn?t work.

The action is also awful. Like the first movie, it?s boring and features people constantly dodging being crushed at the last second. If anything, it?s like an ancient version of Transformers with loud explosions and no pay-off. I want to be excited when a god like Ares leaps down to Earth, not bored out of my skull. And there?s just something about how the action is filmed in these movies that?s lackluster. Stuff is flying all over the place, but you don?t care. It?s probably because you don?t care about the characters. Yeah, that?s probably it.

Overall, if you loved the first movie (and I know there are some of you out there), then you?ll love this one. It?s bigger and there?s more mythology involved. But if you loathed the first movie (and I know there are even more of you out there), then you won?t enjoy this one either. As long as Sam Worthington is the lead and lame near-misses count for excitement, then this series will always be mundane. Just play God of War 3 again if you need your Greek mythology fix.

The Disc:

Surprisingly, the special features on this disc kick ass. As an immense fan of Greek mythology, the special features delve into it deeply, and it almost makes me appreciate the movie more. "Almost," I said. ?Maximum Movie Mode? allows you to watch the film over again (groan!), but also allows you to follow the path of man or gods (Yay!) where you basically get two in-picture commentaries discussing the gods in Greek mythology, and where mankind fits into all of it. If you?re a teacher (as I am), then this mode is a history lesson all in itself. Just pop this baby in and you?re getting writers, actors, producers, and even a professor talking about mythology and en where this movie fits into academia. It?s seriously worth buying this disc. I?m not even joking. The movie sucks ass, but this feature is exceptional.

?Focus Points? focuses on the special effects and scenes in the movies and how they were pulled off. We learn about the script and the characters, and a great deal of other behind-the-scenes stuff, and if you?re in the camp that loved the movie, then you?ll adore this feature. For all others, it?s interesting, but you won?t get the same out of it as the fans. It expands the film, and I don?t know if everyone wants that. Lastly, there are the ?deleted scenes.? Again, if you?re a fan, you may enjoy these, but they really feel like so much added fluff and only make an already bad movie even worse. But again, that ?Maximum Movie mode? is worth the price of this disc alone.

Wrath of the Titans [Blu-Ray] DetailsDistributor: Warner Bros. Home EntertainmentStarring: Sam Worthington, Bill Nighy, Ralph Fiennes, Liam NeesonDirected by: Jonathan LiebesmanProduced by: Basil Iwanyk, Polly Cohen JohnsenWritten by: Dan Mazeau, David Leslie Johnson

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The Dark Knight Rises

Batman returns to Gotham in The Dark Knight Rises, but don't get too used to him. There are a lot of other moving pieces in this, the capper to Christopher Nolan's run of dark and enormous Batman films, and just as he was in The Dark Knight, Batman is probably not even the 8th most interesting character in his own movie-- at times he's outshone by characters not even listed in the credits. Nolan makes a lot of nods toward the emotional development of his hero, but never quite connects with him, and doesn't do much better with the motives of the film's villains, represented largely by the hulking Bane (Tom Hardy) but, of course, a little more complicated than that.

There are action scenes set at the stock exchange, talk of power returning to the people and Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway) purring that it's time for people like Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) to give something back to "the rest of us"; The Dark Knight Rises is clearly born from the time of Occupy Wall Street and financial despair, so much that even Bruce Wayne winds up broke. In the 8 years since Harvey Dent died and Batman fled Gotham has become not just safe, but complacent, so much that when a young inquisitive cop named John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) questions the details of Dent's death, even Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman)-- who knows the truth-- brushes him off. But as Selina (a.k.a. Catwoman, though that name is never mentioned) promises, there's a storm coming; when we meet Bane in a stunning aerial sequence that opens the movie, we know it's only a matter of time before he comes looking not just to break Batman, but to bring Gotham to its knees.

The plot is relatively simple, as Gotham endures Bane's hostile takeover while Batman-- and, working separately, the intrepid John Blake-- tries to figure out how to fix it. But as ever with Nolan's Batman movies, which he co-writes with Jonathan Nolan, there are so many damned details to get through to even understand what's at stake, and who's threatening it. Bane's goals are maddeningly unclear for a long section of the movie, as is Batman's motivation to jump back into action, and while the fight scenes between them are electric, neither character feels like the true heart of the movie. That role falls to Gordon-Levitt, who humps around Gotham doing the kind of detective work Batman might do in a smaller story, setting himself up as the clear-eyed hero in a more complex world. He's the best thing in the movie, sneaking just ahead of Hathaway's slinky and witty Catwoman, and at times it seems even Nolan would rather spend time with John Blake than with the Bat.

With the exception of one lengthy detour, the action mostly sticks with Gotham this time around, and the fictional city-- an amalgam of New York's skyline, Pittsburgh's rivers and Chicago's highway tunnels-- comes alive more vividly than ever before. The dazzling IMAX photography certainly helps, using both wide aerial shots and ground-level street scenes to plunge the audience into the grandeur and mounting unrest in the city that's so obviously worth saving. Even Bane says that he is Gotham's reckoning, not Batman's, and populated as it is by such interesting people-- Morgan Freeman's Lucius Fox, Michael Caine's Alfred, and Marion Cotillard's Miranda Tate also being part of the equation-- it's easy to be invested in Gotham's salvation, even when the man in the bat suit charged with saving it is less engaging than he's ever been.

As the conclusion to a genuinely game-changing trilogy The Dark Knight Rises is appropriately big and ambitious, and it's unlikely we'll see anyone make a superhero movie with Nolan's sense of scale and devotion to old-school, captured-on-film razzle-dazzle. It has moments that are captivating and special, but also lines of dialogue impossible to swallow, plot developments that meander, and a commitment to real-world political overtones that don't quite line up with the story. It's sprawling but undeniably engaging, not quite the blast of clever mayhem The Dark Knight was, but no slouch either.

Batman will live on beyond Nolan, and hopefully with a filmmaker who finds him a bit more interesting, but the world he inhabits will never look quite the same, and short of someone letting Nolan make his series of Gotham movies without the Bat, it's probably the best we'll ever see this city. No one goes into a superhero's movie to explore the world he lives in, but Nolan dares us to do it anyway, and his willingness to challenge his own genre makes The Dark Knight Rises, like all of his Batman films, unmissable.

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Total Recall: Mind-Bending Edition [Blu-Ray]

With the Curiosity rover recently landing on Mars, it seems like the red planet is a hot topic again. So what better movie is there to watch than the mind-bending classic, Total Recall, which is Arnold Schwarzenegger?s best film of all time? You?re right, there is no better movie. So Total Recall it is! God, I love this film.

The Movie:

Apocalypse Now, Taxi Driver, and Total Recall are my three favorite movies of all time. And while Total Recall never gets the respect that the first two films receive, it should, since it?s one of the smartest movies Hollywood has ever produced. And while you may think that that comment alone throws all of my credibility as a film critic right out the window, you need to stop. The only reason you think that way is because it stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, who most associate with lines like ?Get to da choppa!? and ?I?ll be back.? Sure, the movie does verge on being outright silly, with Arnold S spouting one-liners like ?Consider dat a divorce,? but that doesn?t keep the film from being a heady wonder, rivaled only by a film like Inception in the past few years.

What makes Total Recall so good is its ambiguity mixed in with its suspense and action. Douglas Quaid (Schwarzenegger) is a construction worker on Earth who dreams of a life of adventure on Mars. Most people would have to be content with their dreams, but in the world of Total Recall, which was loosely based on Phillip K. Dick?s short story ?We Can Remember It for You Wholesale,? there?s actually a way to live out those dreams, and that way is through a company called REKALL. The company will implant memories of pretty much any experience you could want, and Quaid opts for an adventure as a secret agent. But something goes terribly awry, and all throughout the film, you're left to wonder if Quaid really is a secret agent, or if he's simply living out the experience Recall implanted in his mind. There are hints that suggest either possibility (unlike in the abysmal recent remake, but I won?t get into that), but the ambiguous ending refuses to give you a simple answer. In fact, it makes it all the more perplexing. This is a thinking man?s picture. This is not Red Heat or Commando. This is a work of smarts! It?s a masterpiece of bullets and brains.

That?s why Total Recall is amazing. It?s as thought-provoking as it is action-packed. There seriously isn?t a more violent film I can think of that left me totally spellbound at the end. Along with Robocop and Starship Troopers, director Paul Verhoeven really hit his stride with these films, and they?re probably the most cerebral motion pictures of the '80s and '90s. I?m dead serious. And Total Recall is the best out of the three. So, what are you waiting for? ?Get your ahss to Mahs? and pick up this excellent picture.

The Disc:

I love Total Recall so much that I probably would have given the special features four stars even if they only consisted of a scene selection. But fortunately, these special features are pretty damn good. Unfortunately, though, most of them are from the previous DVD release. So really, I don?t know what?s so "mind-bending" about it. Perhaps it?s the fact that the only truly new feature that I can see here is the ?Restoration Comparison.? Other than that, I?ve seen pretty much all of these before. A few more additions would have been nice, but oh well. It?s a 22-year-old movie. What more could I really expect?

The highlight is definitely the commentary with director Paul Verhoeven and Arnold Schwarzenegger. They basically describe every single thing that?s going on in the movie at the time that it?s playing, so it?s hilarious. It?s also interesting to hear them discuss whether they think the movie is a dream or not, with the director definitely leaning in the ?It?s a dream? direction. ?Interview with Director Paul Verhoeven? is just that, and it?s pretty candid, with him even saying that while Arnold wasn?t all that great of an actor during filming, he had a lot of charisma, which is all they needed to get by at the time. A ?Making-of Featurette? shows just how special the effects were back in 1990, and ?Models and Skeletons: The Special Effects of Total Recall? goes even more in depth with some of the more amazing scenes in the film. They look simplistic today, but they were also more organic back then, which makes it better in my eyes.

?Imagining Total Recall? is a great documentary talking about how hard it was to get the movie made, as it was once plagued by a terrible third act that took forever to get fixed. The ?Restoration Comparison? mentioned earlier shows just how far Blu-ray can push a disc. Rounding it off is the trailer and a photo gallery. It?s all good stuff, but I just wish more of it was new. Overall, it?s a great disc, but reconsider if you already have the movie on DVD.

Total Recall: Mind-Bending Edition [Blu-Ray] DetailsDistributor: Lionsgate Home EntertainmentStarring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin, Sharon Stone, Michael Ironside, Ronny CoxProduced by: Mario Kassar, Andrew G. VajnaWritten by: Ronald Shusett, Dan O?Bannon, Gary Goldman

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The Watch

Something strange keeps happening in The Watch, a new Ben Stiller-Vince Vaughn comedy that?s apparently sponsored by Costco, Tide and MAGNUM-brand condoms. Residents of a bucolic Ohio suburb discover that their safe haven has been infiltrated by extraterrestrials, yet they react as if they?re being told a new Starbucks is opening at the corner of Main Street and Grand Ave. Though faced with the threat of extinction due to the impending alien invasion, Vaughn would rather stalk his teenage daughter?s Facebook account and Stiller still frets over an infertility problem that?s preventing he and his wife (Rosemarie DeWitt) from having their first child. Would such personal problems still matter if the end of the world were near? Must we still pretend to care?

Such is the crippling identity problem of The Watch, a movie that desperately wants to be Ghostbusters -- where funny actors confront supernatural happenings -- but doesn?t understand what made Ivan Reitman?s classic tick. Director Akiva Schaffer dresses down his A-list comedians in their best ?Average Joe? impersonations, then pits them against an out-of-this-world opponent. Yet no matter what direction Ghostbusters veered (and it often bobbed and weaved in search of the right joke), every punchline was rooted in the search for and battle with ghosts. The Watch, however, picks up, plays with, then quickly drops its alien conceit every few minutes. It?s never quite sure what do with its sci-fi premise, so it winds up doing very little at all.

Perhaps it wouldn?t matter, anyway. So many extenuating circumstances secretly conspired against The Watch over the past few months, you could reasonably conclude that God was opposed to the movie ever reaching theaters. For starters, the film had to change its title (and rethink its marketing campaign) after the tragic shooting death of Florida teenager Trayvon Martin at the hands of neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman. As if that wasn?t bad enough, a week before The Watch opens, a lunatic opens fire in a Colorado movie theater, making it difficult to belly laugh at currently insensitive jokes about gunplay, shootouts and campaigns to stop the senseless murders in our suburban community. ?Our society has rules,? Stiller tells a crowd after an unfortunate killing in the film?s first act, and we wince at the bad taste of a joke that?s the victim of poor timing.

The Watch would have to be fall-on-the-floor funny to overcome the obstacles outside events have placed in its path. It?s not.

That?s not to say there aren?t amusing moments in The Watch. It?s just that few of them can be traced back to the four leads. Will Forte plays an arrogant small-town cop who?s an outstandingly bizarre foil to Stiller?s straight-guy routine. R. Lee Ermey milks the umpteenth spoof of his deranged Full Metal Jacket drill sergeant, yet still musters a chuckle simply by swearing and imposing his will. And Billy Crudup saunters out of left field to steal a handful of scenes as Stiller?s mysterious new neighbor. We?re supposed to suspect Crudup?s character of being an alien. The reality of his situation provides a much funnier payoff (and allows director Akiva Schaffer?s The Lonely Island colleagues to make a gratuitously gross but humorous cameo).

Everything funnels through the four-man Watch team, and two guys can?t pull weight. Richard Ayoade guards a secret with his deadpan delivery, and Jonah Hill switches gears to play a borderline psychotic eager to patrol in this suburban ?militia.? Vaughn and Stiller, however, turn out carbon copies of characters from their past. The latter has been playing the put-upon dweeb for so long, he at least discovers a new shade to exploit for The Watch. Vaughn, though, retreats right back to the rapid patter and false bravado he first introduced nearly 15 years ago as Trent in Doug Liman?s Swingers. Vaughn has become a parody of himself at this point.

Schaffer is a talented filmmaker responsible for some hilarious skits and segments with The Lonely Island colleagues Andy Samberg and Jorma Taccone. His claim to fame probably remains Lazy Sunday, the digital short he created for Saturday Night Live. But unless you worship at the altar of Hot Rod (which is possible), Schaffer has yet to transition his creative eye to a feature-length effort, and those hoping The Watch finally was going to be his breakthrough comedy will be forced to keep waiting a little while longer.?

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Alt Take: The Dark Knight Rises

There isn?t a single thing about The Dark Knight Rises that isn?t epic. It?s the highly-anticipated sequel to two of the greatest comic book movies of all time; its central villain, Bane (Tom Hardy), is an absolute monster; the cast is filled with recognizable faces at every turn; and it clocks in at nearly three hours long. Hell, when shown on real IMAX even the projection of the movie itself is epic. And while any major structure is bound to have a few cracks at the result of its own size, the most important thing about Christopher Nolan?s final Batman film is that it?s a fitting conclusion to the story that cements the trilogy as one of the greatest of all time.

While Nolan had no problem letting Heath Ledger steal the show as The Joker in The Dark Knight, one of the best things he does with The Dark Knight Rises is he makes sure that it?s Batman?s story. Set eight years after the events of the last film, when Batman was blamed for killing Harvey Dent and forced to go on the run, Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) starts off as a broken character who has a gaping void in his life due to the absence of the Batman, and the real heart of the story is the hero?s determination to find his way back to the cape and cowl so that he can once again become Gotham?s watchful protector. While madness explodes and the city and Bane works to take power, it?s Wayne and his ascension (hence the title) that truly drives the film. Nolan makes his struggle powerful and captivating, creating pathos and getting the audience to not only root for the hero, but to empathize with him.

A big part of what makes the film so special and satisfying is that it knows that it knows it?s more than a simple sequel, and instead acts as a capstone. It uses plot elements from both Batman Begins and The Dark Knight to fuel its narrative, and makes the audience feel like this was always where we would end up. It even goes as far as to take advantage of tiny details from the previous movies, such as a particular string of pearls, and even ties off some loose threads that you may have completely forgotten about. Because the director has been so adamant about this being his final go-round with Batman, The Dark Knight Rises need to provide not only an ending to its own story, but the story of the entire franchise. And it does so wonderfully.

With the stronger focus on Batman comes a stronger performance from Bale, but he?s not the only powerhouse in the film. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who plays Gotham Police Officer John Blake, continues to establish himself as one of the best young actors in Hollywood. Though we are only introduced to Blake for the first time in this movie, Gordon-Levitt infuses him with a strength and richness of character that makes us feel like he has been in the series the entire time, just off in the background fighting crime somewhere away from the action. Conversely, Hardy?s Bane feels like he comes out of nowhere, but that only serves to make the character even scarier. Because most of his face is covered by a mask, the actor has to sell his performance through his eyes, and the result is stunning, whether he is filled with intense rage or having fun toying with the Bat psychologically. Not to be ignored either are Anne Hathaway (who puts her own memorable spin on Catwoman) and Marion Cotillard, as well as franchise strongholds Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman and Michael Caine. Nolan has always had a talent for both assembling great casts and getting the most out of them, and The Dark Knight Rises is no exception.

But being so damn epic does come with a cost. It?s a surprising thing to say given the film?s 165 minute runtime, but The Dark Knight Rises? greatest weakness is that it moves far too quickly. Upping the ante from the last two movies ? which is clearly no small task ? the finale introduces a slew of new and interesting characters and has a true journey for the hero to embark on, but the consequence is that the first 20 minutes feel like they happen in a flash. While the audience is just getting re-settled back into the world of Gotham, Nolan and his brother Jonathan and David S. Goyer (who wrote the script) rush to establish a ton of plot. Within the first few minutes we learn that Bane is a powerful villain, that eight years have passed since the death of Harvey Dent and the disappearance of the Batman, that Harvey Dent Day is now an annual event, that Commissioner Gordon (Oldman) is going to be replaced soon, that Miranda Tate (Cotillard) lost a great deal of money on an investment with Bruce Wayne, that Wayne has a crippled leg, and that Catwoman has a penchant for thievery.

There are many people out there, like me, who would have no problem sitting through a 10-hour journey through Nolan?s Batman universe, but the challenges of normal Hollywood running time mean everything has to be established at lightning speed. This continues, though to a less exaggerated level, through to the end of the second act, and not helping is the film?s timeline, which rushes past days and months. The director does finally give his story some room to breathe in the third act, and the result is that it?s the best part of the movie.

The Dark Knight Rises is the weakest film in The Dark Knight Trilogy, but given the standard established by the previous two movies that?s practically a compliment. While you can?t ignore the pacing issues, ultimately Nolan has created exactly what he needed to: an epic conclusion and satisfying ending to a brilliant and unforgettable franchise.

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The Campaign

Stephen Colbert is probably America's best chronicler of the terrifying goofiness of our political system, but Jay Roach is surely a close second. Known for a career of broad comedies like Meet the Parents, Roach turned to HBO to direct two films about true, important but also patently ridiculous political events-- the 2000 Florida election recount in Recount, and Sarah Palin's nomination for vice-president in Game Change. Though Roach played it straight in both films, he understand the absurdist comedy in these true stories-- and now, with The Campaign, he's able to bring some Colbertian hyperbole to another political story that's fictional, but may as well be true.

Cam Brady (Will Ferrell) and Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis) are both a little too ridiculous to be real politicians-- Cam panders to the point that he proclaims "Flipino titl-a-whirl operators are our nation's backbone!" while Marty trots around his small town wearing Cosby sweaters with two pugs in tow. But it doesn't take too many steps for the slick and glad-handing Cam to become John Edwards, or for Marty's outsider appeal to make him a Tea Party darling; once two Washington bigwigs with money to burn (John Lithgow and Dan Aykroyd) are able to pour anonymous money into Marty's campaign thanks to loose campaign finance laws, the heightened world of The Campaign begins to feel all too real.

Roach and screenwriters Chris Henchy and Shawn Harwell have a light touch with the real-life parallels, and the film's best moments are always the silliest-- dogs get the best reaction shots, Ferrell once again gets naked, and the much-promoted baby-punching gets one-upped with the goofiest cameo imaginable. Ferrell takes the years he spent playing George W. Bush to create a brand new dimwit with an eye toward power, while Galifianakis crafts yet another unforgettable childish weirdo. Marty starts off a hair too similar to his character from The Hangover or the fake twin brother Galifianakis has portrayed in sketch comedy, but when Marty gets the power of financing and a slick campaign manager (Dylan McDermott), he becomes eerily convincing as exactly the kind of fool who could stumble his way to the top.

The Campaign misses several opportunities to be truly sharp political satire, whether breezing past potential zingers to get to the next big laugh line or lingering so long on some scenes-- Cam's trip to a snake-handling Pentecostal church is painfully extended-- that the film loses steam. Some characters, like Cam's power-hungry wife (Katherine LaNasa) or Jason Sudeikis's overwhelmed campaign manager, aren't developed deeply enough to make a strong impact, and as with any film this broad, not all of the jokes hit perfectly. But there's a genius behind the silliness in The Campaign, in that a go-for-broke comedy might really be the only way to deal with the reality of modern politics. The minute you start thinking that no candidate as loony as Marty Huggins would be successfully backed by some shark-like Washington investors, you just know an identical guy will be the big new success story after the next midterm elections. Roach knows as well as anyone that politics is a dirty and ridiculous business, and The Campaign unveils that truth with enough humor to make it bearable-- and hilarious.

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Step Up: Revolution

Let's face it, if you're eager to see Step Up Revolution, you probably don't care much about the plot. This franchise thrives on its always-beautiful romantic leads and the dynamic dances they and their enviably cool crews perform. Which is why it's so disappointing that the fourth installment in this film series is overstuffed with plot that detracts from the dance.

Having two-stepped through Baltimore and New York City, Step Up producers Adam Shankman and Jennifer Gibgot move the action to Miami, Florida, and use the hot new locale as an excuse to show lots of skin, often in slow motion. Regrettably, the heat between this feature's leads (Ryan Guzman and Kathryn McCormick) is lacking. McCormick made her mark as a contestant on the popular dance competition series So You Think You Can Dance, and while a powerful dancer, her acting leaves plenty to be desired. For his part, Guzman proves a capable dance partner, which is a pleasant surprise since he is a model/mixed martial artist and makes his film debut here. Yet neither has the kind of mesmerizing screen presence or captivating swagger that Channing Tatum (of Step Up and Step Up 2: The Streets) possesses, leaving the love story lackluster.

It's a pale imitation of the Dirty Dancing plotline that the series has retread again and again (rich girl dreams of dancing, falls for blue-collar boy dancer her father doesn't approve of) but first-time screenwriter Jenny Mayer brings nothing fresh to the table. The dialogue is painfully awkward with lines like, "I wish you could want for me what I want for myself," and, "I'm your boss, not your homey!" Then to make matters worse, Mayer overburdens what should be a frothy and frolicking feature with a dizzying and sloppy string of subplots. Aside from the love story, Daddy's girl Emily (McCormick) seeks a spot in a prestigious dance company, while trying to gain the acceptance of her real-estate developer father (Peter Gallagher), who'd rather she be his prot?g?. Searching for an edge for her audition, Emily joins Sean (Guzman) and his flash mob-favoring dance troupe. Known as The Mob, they pursue their dreams of becoming professional performers through the 2012 version of the talent show plotline, a Youtube hits contest, where the first Youtube Channel to 10 million views wins a grand cash prize.

But that's not all! While Sean and Emily fall in love and dance together toward their own goals, they also have to fight off the evil gentrification her father has planned for the Cuban neighborhood The Mob calls home. Rather than talking to him, Emily decides their performance art should become protest art that shows her father in the most confounding way possible that the neighborhood is not for sale.

Still, the wooden leads, laughable dialogue and overeager plot could all be mostly forgiven if the dance scenes were simply stupendous. Though they are gorgeously choreographed and performed with charisma and awe-inspiring skill, they are not captured in fluid long takes that would allow viewers to fully appreciate them. Instead director Scott Speer relies on a manic quick cut style, and with each speed ramp, jump cut, and leap to a new angle, the flow of the complicated dance numbers is severed, deadening their impact. Another mystifying editing choice is the recurring inclusion of reaction shots of flash mob bystanders. Their amazed faces serve as the same kind of lazy shorthand as a sitcom laughtrack, plainly pointing out to the actual audience how they should be reacting. It's a shame the filmmakers hired so many remarkable dancers but then cut the film as if they hadn't.

For all its faults, Step Up Revolution does achieve some movements of well-earned bliss. The flash mob was counted as tired last summer when it was used in the rom-com Friends With Benefits, but it's a welcomed excuse for the kind of ambitious group dance numbers on display here. Taking their passion for performing to the streets, a swanky restaurant and the lobby of a corporate headquarters, The Mob makes the best of each locale blending dance styles to create something inspired and keenly entertaining. The scenes are wonderfully vibrant, peppered with familiar faces, and embracing a playful level of fantasy the franchise could make better use of. A sequence where The Mob preps for a flash mob performance at an art gallery gamely plays like a heist movie, and a running gag about hidden cameras is likewise willfully silly. It's this level of levity where Step Up is best suited. Sadly, while the dance scenes often reach these winsome heights, they are repeatedly brought low by the too stern ambitions of the film's makers.

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God Bless America [DVD]

If you remember when Americans had a true hold on satire, you?re at least as old as I am. What is there now? Mad Magazine is now ridiculously safe and kid-friendly. (Not that it ever wasn?t.) Stewart and Colbert laugh along with their admittedly brilliant punchlines. The Onion is a definite hallmark, but enough disillusioned people consider these stories credible that we may never understand satire as a nation ever again. Luckily, Bobcat Goldthwait has no time for the disillusioned, gifting us the hilariously scathing God Bless America. (Mad Magazine title: Glob Bless Ummerica.)

The Movie:

A well-established comedian, actor, and voice actor, Bobcat Goldthwait has reached a career renaissance as a writer and director of emotion-fueled, blacker-than-black comedies. After Sleeping Dogs Lie and World?s Greatest Dad, Bobcat aimed his offbeat sensibilities at murdering the ignorant and rude people in the world: the people who take up two parking spots and talk loudly in theaters. In other words, God Bless America is one of the most relatable movies in history.

Our schlubby protagonist, Frank (Joel Murray), spends his home life watching brainless dreck (parodies of current reality television) at high volume to drown out his neighbors? constant arguments. His workplace is filled with catch-phrasing drones. His doctor only has bad news whenever he actually pays attention to Frank. The film could be mistaken for a loopy Mike Judge comedy until Frank makes his anarchic intentions a reality by executing teen star Chloe, an amalgam of every whiny, annoying, over-privileged socialite clogging up the airwaves. His deeds are witnessed by a like-minded teenager named Roxy (Tara Lynne Barr), and the two form a strained bond connected by hatred for society at large.

While the rest of the plot?s violent bobbing and weaving across the country is equally enjoyable and unnerving, God Bless America finds its center in Frank and Roxy?s unconventional friendship, which the actors succeed in conveying properly. At times, Frank is the sage father to Roxy?s impulsive daughter, and other times it?s as if they?re on an information-sharing first date, the information being what kind of people they?d like to kill, as well as a shared dislike for screenwriter Diablo Cody. Thankfully, their age difference is commented on realistically and without sensation.

A key line in the film is Frank?s pondering, ?Why have a civilization anymore if we no longer are interested in being civilized?? While some viewers (and outwardly vocal non-viewers) will have a problem with the flippant gun use, especially when considering recent events, their true problems should lie in this train of thought existing in the first place. The majority of this nation's population spends money and time on things that don?t require deep thought and can be experienced in the laziest way possible. (Stark generalization.) I probably relate to Frank more than I?d like to admit, though I?m content to keep those thoughts in my head.

Because the film?s themes are so polarizing, even in satirical context, I feel almost biased for liking it so much, as if a DVD review isn?t the place for personal opinions to take over. The film?s third act does tread through predictable waters, but I really can?t think of many more negative things to say about it. As a character, Roxy gets on my nerves, but it?s because Barr?s performance is genuine. When you get right down to it, the world that Frank lives in is so over-the-top that any sentimental undertones feel like they came from a different movie, but Joel Murray, monologues and all, is so grounded in reality that you don?t notice it at the time. And who gives a shit about sentiment when there are so many morons to blast holes in?

If you only see one road movie this year where a baby is exploded with a shotgun to the tune of Brahms? Lullaby, God Bless America is the perfect choice.

The Disc:

A variety of quality features await you on this DVD. Bobcat, Murray, and Barr give one of the more engrossing commentaries I?ve heard on a comedy in a while. Barr?s youthful intelligence plays well against the two men?s decades-long experience in the industry. Equally informative and silly, there isn't a dull moment on the track.

Also enjoyable is ?Behind the Scenes: Killing with Kindness,? a 27-minute look at the God Bless America's production process. Bobcat talks about relating to Frank and the film?s dark themes, and shows us the pig-fart ringtone inspiration for Frank?s insipid TV watching. We also get to meet bearded cinematographer Bradley Stonesifer, whose marijuana use is referred to all over the place by Bobcat. A companion piece to this is the ?Interviews? portion, another 27-minute extra that sits Bobcat, Murray, and Barr together and allows each to give their insightful input about the making of the film and their chemistry together. Inspirations and criticisms are discussed, and Bobcat rightfully points out that this isn?t Natural Born Killers or a vigilante flick like Kickass.

?God Bless TV? contains deleted scenes from the reality TV sections of the film. Most notable are more of Larry Miller as Chloe?s dad, and the Jersey Shore-teez, a parody of the Shore with babies. There?s also a music video for ?Roxy and Frank (God Bless America),? performed by Mike Carano, which tells the literal story of the film?s characters.

The skippable extras are the short and boring ?Outtakes? feature and the HDNet special, which consists of chopped-up portions of the Interview segment, though they do talk about the trailer with a Marilyn Manson song in it, which you can also see in the special features.

I?d buy this film again if I didn?t already own it. We should be so lucky to have Bobcat as the voice of a generation who has seen it all and has a problem with most of it.

God Bless America [DVD] DetailsDistributor: Magnolia Home EntertainmentStarring: Joel Murray, Tara Lynne Barr, Mackenzie Brooke SmithDirected by: Bobcat GoldthwaitProduced by: Jeff Culotta, Edward H. Hamm

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Savages

There were many times while watching Oliver Stone?s Savages that I thought to myself, ?Okay, that was kind of cool. Maybe things will pick up from here.? I was perpetually disappointed. From the outside the film looked like a return to the Stone of old, the filmmaker that brought us intense, powerful movies like Natural Born Killers, Platoon, and Born on the Fourth of July. Instead what he has delivered is overlong, filled with empty characters and bad performances, and an ending that may actually lead audiences to throw things at the screen.

An hour into Savages, I looked at my watch and discovered something incredible: the movie was still stuck in the first act. The film begins with some truly terrible voice over from Blake Lively who plays a character named O. This wannabe-ingenue is in love with two pot growers named Ben (Aaron Johnson) and Chon (Taylor Kitsch), who are beginning to have trouble with the Mexican cartels who want a piece of their action. When the two friends refuse, the cartel, headed by a woman named Elena (Salma Hayek), decides that the best course of action is to kidnap O. Whereas most stories would have this all explained within the first 20 minutes or maybe the first half-hour, it takes Stone an hour to get the intro out. Top to bottom the movie feels bloated and boring to the point that the audience is left tapping their foot waiting for the next plot movement to surface.

Every character in Stone?s new movie is characterless. Elena has the potential of being an interesting figure, as she didn?t rise to the top of the cartel but instead inherited it, but the character is only written to extremes, either trying her very best to be a brutal drug lord and other times crying about her daughter (Sandra Echeverr?a). Benicio del Toro's character Lado, one of Elena's enforcers, has the opposite problem. You want to see Del Toro do a bit of scenery chewing and act evil on a primal level, but Lado simply meanders from scene to scene. John Travolta plays a DEA agent who plays both sides, but doesn?t so much add to the plot as he does add to the two hour and eleven minute runtime. To their credit, Ben and Chon are interesting characters and Johnson and Kitsch play them well, but the environment in which they are placed doesn?t suit their development. While there are interesting questions to be asked about how two best pals can share one woman and how their opposing personalities ? one is a Buddhist and the other is an ex-solider ? results in a friendship, it?s all lost by giving them the ordinary revenge plotline to fit into.

It?s hard to tell why O was put in the position of being the story?s narrator, and that question only gets louder as you watch Lively?s performance. We get that her character is meant to be laid back, but that?s no excuse for every line she has to be said completely flat. Even when she?s been in captivity for days Lively never sounds panicked or worried, and generally comes across as spoiled. Most of her narration is pointless ? she provides biographies for characters who only appear in one scene ? and actually winds up being a distraction.

And then there?s the ending that I still have a hard time believing was made by not only a multiple Academy Award winning director, but by someone who has any concept of storytelling. Will I will not reveal exactly what occurs ? it?s not my job to ruin the movie-going experience ? it is the equivalent of Stone raising a middle finger to the audience and saying. ?Screw it, I?m going to take any potential this movie had and flush it down the toilet.? As the travesty unfolded I took a look around the theater and saw many people holding their arms out in befuddlement, heard others laughing, and witnessed others turning to their neighbors and whispering, ?Seriously?? It deserves to haunt the rest of Stone?s career.

Even the device driving Savages doesn?t make sense. Marijuana is the drug that created Cheech and Chong, Harold and Kumar and Jay and Silent Bob, not the drug that?s going to lead to people being whipped until their eyes fall out of their socket (an all too real example from this film). In the making of this movie Stone had his head completely on backwards and the result is an absolute mess that will not only lead you to leaving the theater disappointed, but possibly even furious.

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Casa de mi Padre [DVD]

As charming as Will Farrell is, he really can?t carry a movie unless the script is amazing. For every Anchorman and Talladega Nights, there?s a Land of the Lost and a Semi-Pro. Casa de mi Padre fits somewhere in that nebulous region in-between the crap and the fantastic, but it?s leaning more toward crap. Yeah. Unfortunately, it?s leaning a lot more toward crap.

The Movie:

You have to give Will Ferrell credit. He?s willing to take risks. Not content with just doing comedies where he plays man-boys (Talladega Nights, Step Brothers, etc.), Will Farrell signed on for dramadies like Stranger Than Fiction and Everything Must Go to prove just what kind of actor he is. It shows a lot of range for an SNL alum who once wrote a skit about Blue Oyster Cult?s ?Don?t Fear the Reaper,? needing ?more cowbell.? And Casa de mi Padre might be his riskiest venture yet, as it?s an action/comedy in the vein of a telenovela that?s done entirely in Spanish. I mean, seriously, who does that? Unfortunately, the film doesn?t push its gimmick far enough and its laughs are few and far between, and the movie is often boring, fake mountain lion and all.

The story features Will Farrell, who surprisingly does a great job with his Spanish, as a rancher who becomes embroiled in a drug war on his father?s ranch. What follows is a lot of gunfire, a lot of slim-cigarette smoking, and a lot of intentionally cheap-looking shots of vistas that are obviously just painted backgrounds. This film definitely embraces the cheapie approach to filmmaking. But then again, it doesn?t, which is sort of the problem. The best parts in this movie are the actual parodies of telenovelas themselves, such as a scene where the camera pans in on a character?s sunglasses, and you can actually see the crew in his lens? reflection, just standing around. It?s the kind of movie where you fully expect to see more than one boom mic appearance, but don?t. It goes for it at times, but not enough. The rest of the movie feels like they were trying to tell a real story, and that?s where Casa de mi Padre falters. Either go all out with the gags, or don?t. But don?t attempt both. It only confuses things.

That?s the biggest problem with this movie. It feels confused. Will Ferrell at one point plays the straight man, and the next, he can?t even roll a cigarette properly and lets it hang in his mouth while tobacco spills out of it. At times, I actually do wish the movie went with the straight-faced approach and wasn?t meant to be a joke at all. It would have been this surreal movie where Will Ferrell is seriously committing to something so outside his range that it would be amazing. Then again, I also wish this movie went balls-to-the-wall crazy, sort of like Anchorman, and was so wild that it?s a riot all the way through. Either one of those would have been fine. But combined, it just doesn?t work.

Overall, Casa de mi Padre is an interesting Hollywood experiment, and I?m happy they made it since it?s so different from the norm. But I just wish they committed themselves to a very specific course. As it stands, it?s a movie that feels caught up it in its own ambition. Watch it if you?re curious, but don?t expect to be marveled or dazzled. Well, except by Will Ferrell?s Spanish, of course. That is pretty impressive.

The Disc:

Even if you don?t like the movie all that much, you still have to appreciate all the special features on this disc. The audio commentary with Will Ferrell, director Matt Piedmont, and writer/producer Andrew Steele, while not very informative, is enjoyable. You get the sense that they had a good time making the movie as they?re constantly laughing and putting each other down. They really sell it. There?s a ?Making of? featurette that involves the mostly Spanish cast praising the director for being able to direct a Spanish movie, even though he himself couldn?t speak Spanish, which is actually pretty damn impressive.

There are also deleted scenes that advance the story, even if they aren?t all that funny. If this movie had taken the serious approach, I think they would have been important to the actual movie. It makes me lament for the film that this could have been. A ?Fight for Love? music video, based on one of the songs in the end credits, is silly, silly stuff, and would have fit in perfectly if this was a straight comedy. There are also fake commercials advertising made-up cigarettes and beer. It?s actually pretty hilarious. Finally, there?s an interview with Pedro Armendariz Jr., who died last year and this was his final film. It would be a better feature if there were subtitles all the way through, as it?s sometimes hard to understand what he?s saying, even though he?s speaking English.

As a whole, the special features for Casa de mi Padre are impressive. If you really dig the movie, then you?ll love these special features, and even if you don't like the movie, you may still appreciate them. I only wish there was a way you could separate the comedy or add more in to get the film just the way you like it. That would have been pretty awesome.

Casa de mi Padre [DVD] DetailsDistributor: Warner Bros. Home EntertainmentStarring: Will Ferrell, Gael Garcia Bernal, Diego Luna, Pedro Armendariz, Jr. Produced by: Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, Emilio Diez Barroso, Darlene Caamano Loquet, Andrew Steele

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Ruby Sparks

In a good romantic comedy, the relationship at the center should feel as important and truthful as your own. You need to feel the pain when the characters are torn apart, the joy when they reunite, and accept wholly that-- despite the fact that these people are quite fictional-- it really matters if they get together in the end. But by adding a new layer of fiction and making one half of the central couple a creation of the other's imagination, Ruby Sparks diminishes its own stakes from the start, and nothing that happens in this breezy, ineffective rom-com does anything to improve that.

The fact that it stars real-life couple Zoe Kazan and Paul Dano makes the lack of romantic appeal all the stranger, an example of how a happy real-world couple can be uncompelling onscreen. But it was a challenge for either of them to lift up Kazan's own meandering screenplay, which makes too little of its tempting high-concept premise and settles into the dull, familiar rhythms of a relationship movie that's far less ambitious than this one should have been. As Ruby, the girl first created by novelist Calvin (Dano) while stuck in a rut of writer's block, Kazan navigates a tricky series of character shifts, first appearing to be nothing more than Calvin's dream girl and eventually developing as herself, all while Calvin has the power to change her entirely simply by writing more about her. But Ruby is also, deliberately, a cipher, and the more the story doggedly sticks to Calvin's point of view, the more she fades away.

Directors Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, making their first film since Little Miss Sunshine, feel more comfortable on the margins of the story, surrounding Calvin and Ruby with supporting characters who are all more interesting. Chris Messina feels a little miscast as Calvin's meathead brother, the only other person who knows that Ruby started off as Calvin's fictional creation, but he makes the most of the role anyway, as the audience surrogate who both encourages Calvin to fiddle with Ruby's personality and understands, as a married man, that no dream girl stays perfect forever. The movie takes a pleasant detour halfway through as Calvin and Ruby visit his mom (Annette Bening) and stepfather (Antonio Banderas) at a hippie retreat in Big Sur, and while the whole section sets up character development that doesn't quite pay off, watching the large cast squabble around the dinner table is a treat. Add in Steve Coogan as a slimy author, Aasif Mandvi as Calvin's exasperated agent, Elliott Gould as his equally exasperated therapist, and Deborah Ann Woll as Calvin's confrontational ex, and the supporting cast is worth of a Little Miss Sunshine-style road trip movie of their own.

But before too long, it's back to Calvin and Ruby, as their story hits some terrific high notes-- their hazy courtship, her tentative steps at independence, a chaotic and dark finale-- but also sputters out over and over, leaving the audience feeling trapped in Calvin's bland white apartment and wondering how the zippy appeal of the premise led us down this familiar road. Kazan has written a strong and intriguing role for herself, but without the strength of story to carry that character somewhere quite as worthy.

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The Flowers of War [DVD]

Every country should have a chance at their own Gone with the Wind. You know, a movie that combines an epic scope of war with a love story. Big stories, big music, big scenes, big costumes?big everything. China came up with their own epic last year, The Flowers of War, starring that incredible Chinese actor, Christian Bale.

The Movie:

The Flowers of War is the most expensive Chinese movie ever made, and also set box office records in China when it was released in 2011. That?s not to say it?s a very good movie, because it?s not. It?s technically impressive, with a big-scope feel to it, and it shines light on an historical event that isn?t particularly well known. Unfortunately, it?s also a bloated clich? fest that has Christian Bale running around in it in order to appeal more to non-Chinese audiences. It just doesn?t work.

Taking place in the Chinese city of Nanjing in 1937, The Flowers of War tells the story of the ?Rape of Nanjing,? during a war between Japan and China. The Japanese soldiers have overrun the city and they?ve got just one thing on their mind: raping some virgins. Well, they probably had other things on their mind, but that seems to be the goal of the soldiers in this movie. Well, that and screaming and laughing whenever they come across a female over the age of about eight. As the city falls, American mortician John Miller (Christian Bale) is in town to help bury a Catholic priest and ends up at the priest?s church/school, finding it populated by a group of female students who are hiding from the marauding Japanese soldiers.

Miller is a bit of a drunken douchebag and provides little direction for the girls, who would like to get the hell out of Dodge if possible. They are soon joined by some local prostitutes, led by the amazingly cute Yu Mo (Ni Ni), who try to get Miller to lead them to safety outside of the city. He laughs off that suggestion and eventually the soldiers find the church. A somewhat sympathetic Japanese colonel gets involved but it?s pretty clear that if Miller doesn?t do something, the girls are gonna see some pretty hard times soon.

By ten minutes into the movie, pretty much anyone will realize that Miller won?t stay a drunken, buffoonish loner for long. Also, it?s unlikely the convent girls and the hookers will stay in separate camps. Or that Miller and Yu Mo will keep their growing attraction at bay. Or that all the girls and hookers will stay alive through the whole movie. The numbers are there and kung fu movie director Yimou Zhang (Hero, House of Flying Daggers) paints right into them. He uses amazing colors and the visual style is compelling, but the story is just boring. Yes, yes, he?s drunk but will soon pull it together. Yes, that seemingly selfish hooker will sacrifice herself in some amazing way. Yes, that Chinese soldier will sacrifice himself in some way. Yes, George, the Chinese orphan who works and lives at the church, will sacrifice himself in some way. We can see it all in our mind's eye, we're just waiting for the lines to be delivered.

The money spent on this big-budget Chinese prestige picture is all on the screen. The battle scenes and even the dream-like sequences in the church are a pleasure to watch, but the script is dreadful and even the performances (many of the hookers and kids were newcomers) are a bit stiff. Once Bale sobers up and seems engaged, he?s his usual excellent self, but he just seems out of place. Why even cast him other than to pump up overseas appeal? It doesn?t work, and a better script would have been the place to start.

The Disc:

The Flowers of War is a big-budget and impressive visual picture, so watching it on DVD when you can get a Blu-ray is not the way to go. The picture and sound on the DVD is acceptable, but you really want the best you can get here and that?s going to be HD, of course.

For all its faults, this DVD does have one thing going for it: a really unique backstage look at the making of the film. The making-of documentary is about 90 minutes long and broken up into five sections. Rather than have some sort of storyline or arc to the sections, it?s more just a real behind-the-scenes look, showing some of the good and bad that comes with making the most expensive movie in the history of your country. Director Zhang Yimou is the focal point, although oddly never mentioned by name, always called ?the director,? at least in the subtitles. The pressure on him to make such an expensive movie is discussed openly, and it makes the whole thing seem more real than the usual PR bull you get with these things.

The basic making of the film, the script, the casting, the sets, the stunts, are all covered, but so is the finding of the young, inexperienced actors. That?s really fascinating as they show things like cutting the girls' hair for their characters and watching some of the twelve-year-olds cry as their long hair is replaced by an unflattering bowl cut. Or watching the stern, perfectionist director chastise their performances over and over again. There isn?t much sugar coating here; it?s not embarrassing or harsh, but it is realistic.

Christian Bale gets a close look, and that?s interesting, although when they interview him his mic doesn?t appear to be working so it?s like he?s talking from the far end of long tunnel. However, again, they don?t pull punches and others talk openly on how he was cast to increase the box-office appeal of the movie since it cost so much to make. It?s rare that you don?t hear the usual ?Oh, I?ve always been really interested in the Rape of Nanjing and jumped at the chance to do the movie.?

A lengthy sequence covers the filming of a 10-second segment in the opening scenes, which show the battles between Japanese and Chinese soldiers. If you ever want to get a sense of the stress and cat-wrangling feeling of a big-budget picture trying to do a real stunt rather than a computer effect, this is the extra to watch. It was fascinating.

Overall, the extras boost up the overall enjoyment factor of the disc. However, it?s still not a great movie, and no amount of behind-the-scenes insight can make up for that. It?s probably better to stick with our own Gone with the Wind until the Chinese get theirs right.

The Flowers of War [DVD] DetailsDistributor: Lionsgate Home EntertainmentStarring: Christian Bale, Ni Ni, Zhang Xinyi, Huang Tianyuan, Han Xiting, Zhang Doudou, Tong DaweiWritten by: Liu Heng, Yan Geling

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The Bourne Legacy

The Bourne Legacy arrives as the promised continuation of a mega-franchise, but it's worth remembering that even Jason Bourne had humble origins. The Bourne Identity arrived in 2002 as a sleeper hit-- it finished second at the box office its opening weekend to Scooby-Doo-- and it took many people a while to cotton to the way Matt Damon and Doug Liman had given the spy thriller a sleek, soulful update. But Bourne Legacy arrives all wrapped up in The Bourne Ultimatum, both in terms of expectations and quite literally in its plot-- understanding the first 30 minutes of the new film practically requires re-watching Ultimatum, or at the very least, carefully parsing its Wikipedia plot summary.

Because, as you may remember, the Bourne movies are really complex, and The Bourne Legacy shoulders the double challenge of establishing its own mythology while jumping off from the previous trilogy-- something writer/director Tony Gilroy clearly relishes, having written all of the previous Bourne films, but can't quite master this time. The opening act of the film jumps frantically from government war rooms to foreign cities to the mountains of Alaska, as a very tense and very good Edward Norton tries to get a handle on the havoc wreaked by Jason Bourne in Moscow and London (from the beginning of Ultimatum), all while our hero Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) undergoes his own Arctic training in the same program that once created Bourne-- well, mostly. Familiar faces like David Strathairn, Joan Allen and Albert Finney are relegated to the background, and Norton's Eric Byer is the head of not Treadstone, but Operation Outcome-- "Treadstone, without the inconsistency." No, I'm not quite sure what that means either.

There's a whole lot to chew on in the beginning-- and we haven't even gotten to Rachel Weisz as the scientist working in the lab that creates meds for these super-soldiers-- and it's almost frustrating to keep returning to Aaron out in the wilderness, managing by luck and some skill to escape the deliberate execution of every other Outcome agent. But eventually Aaron makes it out of the wilderness, tracks down Weisz's Dr. Marta Shearling and saves her from her own execution, and the two of them go on the run, in a manner very familiar to Bourne fans. Aaron's motivation isn't quite as existential as Jason Bourne's was-- he's looking for more of the medicine that makes him smarter and faster-- but it works, and with Norton dispatching all the forces of the shadow government after them, the cat-and-mouse format doles out the required thrills, with more than enough surprises to keep it interesting.

But while Gilroy clearly loves managing all the moving parts of the expansive plot, he's less skilled with the action, especially when it comes to the big motorbike chase sequence at the end, which is incomprehensible. And though Renner is a truly terrific action star, with the pugnacious face and hooded eyes that suggest he could snap at any moment, he's just no Matt Damon; Damon's Bourne always struck you as the boy next door thrust into an uncontrollable situation, and even when snapping necks, he seemed to regret it. Aaron Cross seems to have no such qualms, and when he takes down diligent security guards or filches a gold watch to provide for his next escape, there seems to be genuine menace behind it. That would work in many movies, but it's a tougher fit in the Bourne universe, where the violence can get so grim that you at least need to feel for the guy who's throwing the punches.

It would have been nice to embrace Aaron Cross in a movie more like The Bourne Identity, which sneaks up on you and gives you larger plot questions to answer only after you've gotten to know the guy. But the rule of franchises is that this new movie must be enormous, so Legacy expands for something as big and important as Ultimatum, without putting in the time to get to that point. Perhaps in a second movie Aaron Cross can stand on his own, but for now he feels trapped in the shadow of what came before.

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Total Recall

Colin Farrell's career took off 10 years ago, when he starred in the very good Philip K. Dick adaptation Minority Report. Now in Total Recall, another Dick adaptation but also a remake of a 1990 film of the same name, Farrell has kind of come full circle, though not in a way that does anyone any good. A fireplug of a performer with the right material (including his villainous Minority Report performance), Farrell is a bland presence at the center of a surprisingly bland movie, which sets up any number of nifty sci-fi ideas in the service of a story that's intriguing at first, then repetitive, and then out-and-out goofy.

Director Len Wiseman, of the sturdy Underworld series, uses Total Recall's huge budget to great effect at first, establishing the richly detailed future earth, where the wealthy citizens live in the relatively humane United Federation of Britain, and the poor are stacked on top of each other in slums known as the Colony, a.k.a. Australia. Workers commute from the Colony to the UFB via a train that bores through the center of the earth, called The Fall-- a glitzy, futuristic invention that's probably the coolest offering. Farrell plays Quaid, a lowly factory worker married to some sort of future FBI agent Lori (Kate Beckinsale), who is lured in by the company Rekall, which promises implanted fake memories to make his everyday drudgery more bearable.

Of course, Quaid is no worker drone-- once inside Rekall he discovers he's actually Hauser, a high-level leader of the resistance movement who was fighting to bring down the totalitarian corporate government led by Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston) when he was captured and his memory wiped, supplanted by a fake one. The woman he once knew as his wife and the rest of the government are suddenly after him, but so is his former love Melina (Jessica Biel), who swoops him up in a daring hover car rescue and takes him on the run.

So far so good, in its own generic way-- Farrell does nicely with Quaid's early bewilderment, and both Beckinsale and Biel are convincing kick-ass women, even if Beckinsale's Terminator-esque determination to kill Quaid borders on cartoonish. But even a plot as simple and familiar as Total Recall's falls constantly into logic holes, whether from evident tinkering in the edit room-- the Colony's name was originally New China, for just one example-- or a blithe disregard for continuity when there's another huge action scene to show.

And there's a lot of action to get through, some of them inventively staged like a platform-hopping video game, but many of them fight sequences chopped into pieces, like every other modern action film that's driven you crazy when you can't tell what's happening. Total Recall moves at a relentless pace, but eventually the action and gunfighting and jumping out of windows starts to blur together, becoming dull in the way only an action movie can when it's trying so hard not to bore you.

Usually a noisy sci-fi movie with more action than ideas is harmless, a staple of summer and early fall, the kind of thing that fills up the space between The Dark Knight Rises and September. But as a remake of a movie that was perfectly fine, and also a phenomenal waste of Colin Farrell, Bryan Cranston and a promising premise, Total Recall feels more insidious, and will remain so even after I've completely forgotten I ever saw it. It's one thing to make a mediocre movie, but another to do so with something that could have been much more.

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Katy Perry: Part Of Me

I must admit, before seeing Katy Perry: Part of Me, the pop princess with the candy-coated cleavage was on the periphery of my pop culture intake. Sure, I'd see some of her goofy and glittery music videos online, read about her Sesame Street scandal and cheeky response on Saturday Night Live, was aware of her short-lived marriage to crass comedian Russell Brand and had certainly sung along to her most popular singles at karaoke. Yet I hadn't formulated an opinion on Katy Perry and her particular brand of pop confection. That was the main reason I wanted to see her concert doc, to take a look at Perry and her work head on. And now, I can be counted as unabashedly a Katy Kat. Giddy, girly and engaging, Katy Perry: Part of Me 3D is a thoroughly jubilant and inspiring cinematic experience sure to delight her legions of fans as well as win her countless new ones. ?

Directed by the founders of Magical Elves, Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz who have crafted compelling narratives from reality before with Project Runway, Top Chef and Air Guitar Nation, Part of Me unveils Perry's path to stardom--as well as the career highs and personal lows she experienced during her California Dreams Tour--by interweaving behind-the-scenes footage, interviews with her friends and family, and home movies with kinetic and exhilarating 3D performances from her spectacle-driven stage show. Pumping up the music and showcasing Perry's over-the-top costumes, Part of Me fires up audiences from its first scene, then uses pop music?most often hers, but sometimes covers?to envelop us in her emotions, be it the exhilaration of success, the dizzying swoon of infatuation, or the crushing blow of a breakup, making for a wonderfully moving narrative.?

The daughter of a born-again Pentecostal preacher, Perry was barred from most pop culture until her teen years, when she discovered Alanis Morissette, whose raw and edgy music urged her to give up the gospel songs of her youth and write something more true to herself. From there, Perry pursued her girlhood dreams of glittery stardom with an undying ambition and remarkable self-certainty. But beyond this backstory, Part of Me gives audiences a look at all the work that goes behind her flashy stage show. Costume fittings with her trusted stylist Johnny Wukej, workout sessions where Perry works off the fast food that is her favorite indulgence, and tech rehearsals where she pushes to make every effect absolutely perfect.?Far from the colorful and impeccable presentation she shows on red carpets and talk shows, Perry is shown without make-up, and in her darker moments, without defenses as she shatters into tears.?

While Perry's tour was taking her all over the world to perform 124 sold-out, 2-hour long arena shows, she and Brand were trying to make their new marriage work. But despite Perry's fairy tale dreams of happily ever after, and her tireless efforts to fly to her husband's side at every opportunity, he filed for divorce by year's end. As it's her movie, take a grain of salt with the point of view on this, but it does seem Perry gave her all--much as she does in her stage shows--and when it is not enough to save her marriage, we see her quivering and crying on a makeup chair, removing her wedding band before crumbling into despair. On the whole, she's diplomatic about Brand, never slinging mud or blaming him directly, but it's at this breaking point?with her manager and assistant pressing her to get into costume, despite her personal crisis?that we see Perry for who see is above all else: a true and dedicated performer. Broken and heartsick, she gives her team the go sign, and her makeup artist swabs away her tears to begin preparations for the show. The moment where Perry physically pulls herself up from a slumped stance of a heartbroken girl into the joyous carriage of pop idol who has it all, including a dazzling smile, is one of the movie's most awe-inspiring moments. She is the light she wants to see in the world and inspires us to be the same.?

Whether you're hot or cold on Perry's music?I couldn't help myself?it's impossible not to be pulled in by her inspiring tale of self-discovery and tenacity. Stepped through her early brushes with record labels, we're told how she refused to be "the next Kelly Clarkson," or "the next Ashlee Simpson," insisting all the while she wanted to be the first Katy Perry. She fought for her vision at every turn, and still does, powering through her own pain and exhaustion to deliver to her fans a remarkable jubilation.?I genuinely struggle to remember the last time I felt so consistently joyful in a theater. From the kinetic choreography to the cheeky costume changes, wild stage props and Perry's uniquely extraordinary showmanship, Part of Me is a so much more than portrait of a pop star, it's a party.

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